Telling Significant Other about Self Harm?

Ellie226

New Here
Hi everyone,

I wasn't sure which thread to post this in. I have been having a very rough week and have given into self-harm urges which left some significant bruising on my arms and legs. I am wondering how people have gone about telling significant others about self-harm marks. I am seeing my boyfriend this week and I know he is going to ask about the bruises. I don't want to lie to him but I am also terrified about how he is going to react. What is a good way to go about this conversation? How should I phrase my explanation?
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
however hard it might be to tell the truth, keeping track of lies harder. with the truth, you only have one story to keep up with.

how 'bout if you kick off the conversation with the words from this very post? they are simple and straightforward. let the conversation evolve from there.
 

joeylittle

Administrator
I am seeing my boyfriend this week and I know he is going to ask about the bruises. I don't want to lie to him but I am also terrified about how he is going to react. What is a good way to go about this conversation?
I think it's a different answer, depending on how long you've been dating. Disclosing isn't an all or nothing thing - if it's still a new relationship, it's possible that you don't want to go to that. level of vulnerability yet. If it's a more long-term situation, you might want to reveal more.
 

grit

MyPTSD Pro
I think any adult knows what self harming may look like on another adult. So imho, you do not need to say anything unless they ask and I think your response will probably depend on how they ask. However, what you have much more control is how you soothe yourself from now until you meet up so at least your nerves are more relaxed. good luck.
 

Sues

MyPTSD Pro
I suggest not lying. That would never end well. If you don't feel ready to talk about it yet, then tell him exactly that. Maybe saying something like, "It's not something I'm ready to talk about yet, but I hope someday I will feel more comfortable discussing it." I still self harm, and no one except my therapist knows about it. I don't want anyone else to know. I think it's ok if it needs to be kept to yourself, and that is something for each person to determine what is best for them.
 
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