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Terrified about making close friends

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Sunfl0wer

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A friend of mine has seen me in the midst of a flashback and panic attack recently and has been helping me get through some of the holidays. He's a great friend and seems to be naturally able to get how to do just that.

But somehow it terrifies me. The only other person that I have this kind of bond with is my fiancé, and every other man I have trusted before with not even half of what I have shared with him has hurt me. How do I navigate this or really any other friendship without being terrified that at some point he'll try to sexually assault me? My gut is telling me that I can trust that he won't but my PTSD is telling me that I'm a fool and that no man is that much of a friend without an ulterior motive.
 
Greetings @Sunfl0wer,
I’m so sorry to hear of your recent challenges with your health, however, I very happy to hear that you’re blessed with not one, but two great men in your life. Follow your gut. They sound like two very supportive individuals. I tried to be a great supporter myself with no ulterior motives in mind. IMO you are a blessed person and I pray that you continue to be blessed as you go through life with ptsd.
 
The best friend that I have to talk to and show vulnerability about ptsd crap has also had ptsd type symptoms throughout her life related to childhood emotional abuse. I also have a male friend that had a bad childhood that seems to be empathetic (he is gay). Perhaps your friend can identify or relate to what you are going through. However, I would caution you on being ptsd intimate with a man that could become into you (and you into him). That is what your fiancé is for and your emotional bonds should be forming with him. I didn’t rely on my husband for my ptsd emotional needs until I was hanging on a thread of being non-functional. I was putting too much dependence on my best female friend. Your therapist is a great person to fully put your trust into. They are trained in boundaries and should be a safe person for vulnerability.
 
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