i think i am getting the courage to start the really open,me, no Bs diary, lye it out on the table, vomit if i have to , scream if i have to, cry if i have to and then also remember there will be times i will hopfully feel positive after. I am dreading how a hard this is going to be..........there is just so much.and i don't want to sound like whiner. i truthfully would love any and all feedback. i am working on the courage, I am going to do this. i will keep it posted on the private PTDT group where only PTSD private and Abthony and Dr. Roerich can access it as well. It is time not to start my healing but to finish it for one last time. I need to move on with my life. i have to for my son, my poor little guy that had to be given a disability as well, aspergers syndrome ( or mild autism) as well as tourettes, that causes involuntary body movements and he makes some odd sounds sometimes too. So too all in the next little while I am going to do this and please feel free to add any comments...................and just remember no matter what I have alwatr learned my lessons the hard way but I always tr to stay at least above the water. Anyway......anyone interested I will start a journal.................I am petrified!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! talk about making life a reality. Wish me luck!