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That one thing I can't let go of

Thread starter #1
I just have this one thing. It actually seemed to replace a singular thing that I used to have. When I am alone, I ruminate, try to resolve, attempt to see differently, examine from every single angle, this one thing.

I did bitch about it to therapist. He has not yet offered any advice.

What do you do?

The old thing faded with time. I assume this will, too. But it has been almost 3 years and I just can't seem to shake it. It's been bad for the last little while because I have WAY too much time on my hands right now. I'm working to remedy that.
 
#2
When I am alone, I ruminate, try to resolve, attempt to see differently, examine from every single angle, this one thing.
^I understand what you mean. Perhaps for me it was more than one thing and it was a little like a never ending slide show of 'things' that I couldn't let go. It drove me crazy and tbh if I let myself, I can go back into that cycle. So maybe I've got more work to do on it.

The only thing I found that helped was to restrict, time, limit myself to doing deep dives into those subjects each day. And I do mean set a timer. It became a bargaining tool with myself in that, I'd permit myself to indulge in that stuff for a limited time. Thereafter each time the thoughts crept back into my present moment I consciously banished them to the time I had allocated. I actually told my brain (inner thoughts if you will) 'you may think about this but only in the allotted time.' Strangely, a lot of the time, when I did get around to my allotted time.. I wasn't interested in doing it. But still it was a tool.

Initially it was a very tiring tactic. Trying to outwit my brain usually is a dismal failure. But just as exhausting or perhaps even more was just letting my brain randomly return to the stuff I desperately wanted to have a break from. Over time, maybe a few months, I became better and better and restraining the thoughts in my present moments and addressing them in the allotted time. I had many break through moments and wasn't sure if I was completely kidding myself. Eventually however there was a reduction in the perpetual ruminations that plagued my every moment day and night.

I've discussed the problem of rumination, intrusive thoughts etc with a few T's. Each time I remind myself of the pink elephant problem. If somebody says don't think about the pink elephant in the corner, well that's all I can think about.

So, whilst I think time does dull those ruminations and perhaps it's completely necessary that the traumatised brain does that... idk.. but it's a horrible, cyclic, exhausting process. Trying to give myself a break, take back some of my brain time for other things seemed necessary and at least it was a goal rather than just letting it happen on and on.

Hope this may help you a little. :)
 
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#4
Might be good to directly straight up ask the therapist for advice. Could also set a timer to think about it then switch gears. Some people get success by picturing a stop sign. I have found that writing it on paper and physically putting away somewhere helps my mind shift off a topic. Working on the underlying issue, be it boredom, anxiety, a desire for control, may also bring some success with reducing the symptom of the repeating thoughts.
 
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