Survivor067
New Here
The aftermath of a narcissist... was in a 5 year relationship with my ex. Physically, mentally, and sexually abusive. Everyday consisted of a constant anxiety of when he would snap next. It could have been as simple as not loading the dishwasher to his "expectation." Then I would be screamed at in a corner for hours at a time and told if I cried he would hurt me. Then he really started to hurt me besides the regular pushing and chocking. He began to beat my hands, butt, and thighs. He used spatulas, wooden spoons, and leather belts. I would be black and blue for weeks. No one knew. He threatened to kill me with a butcher knife above my head if I left. He raped me multiple times. I hated him... I would get in my car and scream at the top of my lungs because I was so angry. I never could retaliate because he would have killed me. There is so much more to this story. It's over now and it has been 4 years since I left. But it haunts me like a dark cloud over me every day of my life. I smile and go on but inside I'm still in shock. I still have nightmares and I still feel that sick feeling of anxiety whenever anything reminds me of that period of my life. I guess I'm just here to get this out.