The End Of Therapy

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Claire

MyPTSD Pro
Hi everyone, I've not been on here for a while but I thought it might help to post that I've finally finished therapy. I can go back if I need to but we've officially finished. I'm still getting used to the idea and it's hard not having anyone to talk to but in another way its a very good thing. I recently asked Anthony to allow me to view my old diary (from the old forum) and he sent it to me. Its a good reminder of how things were in the dark days. I think when you are trying so hard to improve and not get sucked down by things its easy to lose track of progress. So, for everyone that's in that hole now, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I recently found this on the internet. I didn't write it but whoever did know's exactly what they're talking about. I read it when I need to. I think it says it all.

I think that all I want to say is that there IS life after PTSD and that you haven’t lost yourself forever, no matter what the ‘experts’ say (usually, ‘accept it, you’ll never be the same again’). No doubt every individual is different but most PTSD information (however medical) simply swaps Post Traumatic Stress Disorder for Patronising Tips for (barely) Surviving Daily, like, er… ‘try not to get too stressed: relax!’ Or ‘just take these pills…’ (which wont work but at least we’ll feel that we’ve tried).

There isn’t any easy fix, though. It’s a long hard journey very much like a never-ending emotional Via Ferrata where you just have to keep going because you cannot see the end and the end is further than you ever thought it could be but there is no turning back. And we all know that if we’d known what we would have to face we would have given up before we ever took that first step for it is a journey that is so far beyond your own well-known capacity as to seem impossible.

At times you are clinging to a staple in a rock face thinking that it would be so much easier to simply let go, and at others, you are shaking with the effort of making sure that you don’t, as you feel your energy ebbing away while your heart pounds with an abject fear that will not be assuaged.

But when you finally get an adrenaline rush and can feel it again (as in woohoo); when you look at something or someone and can coolly assess their impact on you; when you giggle over something and nothing; when compassion resurrects itself in your heart as the tumbleweed is blown away and your mind stops going blank because some unknown, unseen, unheard, unfelt trigger has wiped it as surely as a disk near a magnet, you know it was worth it. Every painstakingly bleak second of it (and those seconds can and do add up to years. That’s a lot of bleak.)

Then, during those times when the colour bleeds out of everything again, at least you know it’s only temporary, and those times do and will get shorter.

So if you have PTSD, don’t listen to the naysayers. It’s not an illness and neither is it an altered personality, it’s a wound, a psychological wound which you have sustained because somebody or something injured you. And wounds heal.

You can. And you will.
 

KP the nut

MyPTSD Pro
Claire that is an amazing achievement. Well done, you must be so proud of yourself.

I also finished with my T 2 weeks ago. Yes there is light, it does become manageable. Never give up, keep climbing.

I love what you found, it was poignant for me.

Thanks again and well done.

((HUGS))
KP

Great job.jpg
 

AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
Good job!! It IS important that we share the healing that has been accomplished!! To let others' KNOW that they can and will get better! It takes time, committment, and guts!

Wishing you the BEST!!
 

intothelight

Sponsor
Claire,

Thank you for taking the time and posting the update. We all need to hear the success stories as that gives us hope during the dark times.

Debbie
 

Srain

MyPTSD Pro
Congratulations Claire :)

I appreciate the posting...I appreciate the reminder of the hurt that can be healed. It's nice to always know people are healing. Be well.

peace,
Rain
 

desiderata310

MyPTSD Pro
Right now I am standing at the opposite edge of that journey. I've dealt with this for so long that all the negative feels... normal. I was told that I could be in therapy for years, that I may never get "better" (whatever that means), that I will never fully heal and I will always 'have' PTSD. To say I am discouraged is only scratching the surface. There are days when I feel perfectly normal and days when I walk around with an elephant sitting on my chest from anxiety and days which are lost in pure panic over some glancing blow that my brain has taken at me. But if there really is the possibility of finishing this, that makes the trip bearable. Congratulations. Thank you for sharing.
 
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