Justmehere
Sponsor
i saw a therapist quite some time ago that was terrible. She would laugh when I cried, laughing at my crying, all of a sudden held sessions in a hotel hallway until I asked for a private room from hotel staff, busy boundaries, tried to change my name to seven despite my objections, all because she said tears running down my face reminded her of that character from Stranger Things that had black tears running down her face before she did something bad... then there was the billing fraud and general shit therapy techniques. Such has intentionally pushing boundaries to teach me to say no. Which only scared the crap out of me and I would get to the point of bot only saying no but near scream no and leave suicidal. If I told her I was in that bad of a place she would only tell me to go deal with it, and in those words. She claimed to be a trauma expert but her boss and clinic ended up going bankrupt and her supervisor loaning his license for illegally selling pot and ketamine to patients for drug "assisted" therapy sessions and unspecified acts of "endangering safety."
I went to her in a vulnerable place, gave up a lot to see her, and somehow stuck it out way too long past many red flags but did finally quit. I'm proud of that decision.
Thing is, any therapist I see now... I'm angry at them at the get go.
I saw a therapist with the strict boundary of no trauma work, only DBT skills applying to specific goals... she's fine enough, ordinary, no red flags... but just the possibility she'll ask about trauma or childhood has me on edge, angry, defensive, struggling with a lot of symptoms... Which I think are not about this therapist now but the past one.
I think this difficult therapist experience stuck with me and I need to figure out how to shake it off. I think it's affecting other relationships as well, on a really bad way. I need to figure out how to move on past it.
Thoughts or suggestions?
I went to her in a vulnerable place, gave up a lot to see her, and somehow stuck it out way too long past many red flags but did finally quit. I'm proud of that decision.
Thing is, any therapist I see now... I'm angry at them at the get go.
I saw a therapist with the strict boundary of no trauma work, only DBT skills applying to specific goals... she's fine enough, ordinary, no red flags... but just the possibility she'll ask about trauma or childhood has me on edge, angry, defensive, struggling with a lot of symptoms... Which I think are not about this therapist now but the past one.
I think this difficult therapist experience stuck with me and I need to figure out how to shake it off. I think it's affecting other relationships as well, on a really bad way. I need to figure out how to move on past it.
Thoughts or suggestions?