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The Monster Raises Its Head Again

Discussion in 'Supporter Discussion' started by Babycakes, Feb 10, 2007.

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  1. Babycakes

    Babycakes New Member

    Hi all,

    I know it's been a while but undoubtedly as to be expected I am back again. The story thus far, I have a friend who suffers from PTSD but has not been diagnosed as he lives in a country where the condition is unlikely to be recognised, hence, he has nowhere to turn to and his trauma goes back to his childhood and he has never spoken to anyone about it then or now. He just suddenly came out with it to me. He was suicidal at the time, this was sometime in November last year. I came here and got some advice and an idea of what I was dealing with it. All the inforo was extremely useful and by the by I have also realised that my mother has PTSD too. (But that's a another story altogether - though dealing with two people whith PTSD surely doesn't make life any easier) After that it was never mentioned again until tonight. He is back to being suicidal.
    He said that maybe he needed to see a doctor because something was wrong with his head. He said he has lost everything and has nothing more to lose. However, one thing that does confuse me is that he gave up smoking two days ago and that doesn't make any sense to me. This is a contradiction in terms. He also said that there are many other things that he has seen and lived through that are far worse than what he has told me. I told him, that there are many others who like him are going through similar experiences. The symptoms I know about that afflict him are nightmares, flashbacks, completely disrupted sleeping patterns, trust issues and totally withdrawing from everybody, the only person he seems to talk to is me but otherwise he doesn't want to know of anyone. But he did agree that wanting to get better had to come from him and when the time is right I shall direct him this way because I think this would be a very good starting point for him and it will probably be the only accessible place for him.
    I am telling you all this but I don't even know what I am looking for or what I want apart from knowing it is all getting too much as I have just had to get power of attorney for my mum and need to try and deal with that and she too lives abroad. And this happening with my friend who lives even further away than my mum. It makes me feel so helpless.
    I know you are going to say I need to look after myself and that is true because I am at breaking point but at least he won't know that because he is that far away and I can keep it together when I am talking to him. Of course my fear now is that I won't hear from him at all. Maybe again just for some time as before. I know that at least he does reach out to me but the uncertainty of what is going on is a killer.
    I'm sorry folks, I really don't know what I'm looking for because of course there are no answers. Thanks for listening.

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