Relationship The next step

[drlight12]

This is my first time posting to any type of support group. My husband has CPTSD, officially diagnosed about two years ago. In hindsight his symptoms began many years before. Right now we are in what feels like persistent crisis mode. He has tried a laundry list of medications, most of which the side effects were intolerable for him. He did about a year or more of EMDR and we are trying to get him into a DBT program. He is constantly scared and angry and very irritable. He is emotionally abusive and it is a very difficult household to be in. He frequently says that he can’t do this anymore and wishes he was dead. I have made our home as safe as possible, but I am so afraid he will hurt himself. He refuses inpatient or residential treatment options. I feel like I am at my wits end. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

 

[StillPen]

This is my first time posting to any type of support group. My husband has CPTSD, officially diagnosed about two years ago. In hindsight his symptoms began many years before. Right now we are in what feels like persistent crisis mode. He has tried a laundry list of medications, most of which the side effects were intolerable for him. He did about a year or more of EMDR and we are trying to get him into a DBT program. He is constantly scared and angry and very irritable. He is emotionally abusive and it is a very difficult household to be in. He frequently says that he can’t do this anymore and wishes he was dead. I have made our home as safe as possible, but I am so afraid he will hurt himself. He refuses inpatient or residential treatment options. I feel like I am at my wits end. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

I am so sorry your family is having to endure the fallout from this insidious illness. You can only do so much to make your home safe for him. The safety he requires is safety in his own mind and that is what his brain is fighting for right now...it is so exhausting for both you and him. You in no way should put up with or allow emotional abuse from his illness. He is wholly and totally accountable for his behavior. Tell him you love him often and continue asking him to get more indepth help...you are not a professional nor can you continue non-stop to support a person in crisis. Also, know you are not alone. There are other supporters on here that can give you much better feedback than I (as I'm the ons with the illnesses, not a supporter). I just wanted to acknowledge your plea for encouragement and let you know I hear you, and hear where you are coming from.

 

[Sweetpea76]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. A partner who is stubbornly resistant to treatment and/or untreated PTSD in the household is horrid, and being on suicide watch is hell on earth. You’re allowed to be frustrated and angry at him. I know the guilt is real… you’re the healthy one and he is ill. You’re still allowed to be pissed off.

I wish I had some advice. It sucks being along for the ride.

 

[caroline_13]

You need to set some boundaries to take care of yourself, too.

Gentle support as you find your way.

 

[Birdhouseinmysoul]

Hi.. I'm sorry I dont have any advice, but I just wanted to send you a hug xx