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The trauma of being trapped and tied up

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Justmehere, Jul 7, 2018.

  1. Justmehere

    Justmehere Help support myPTSD - more info in Social forum Moderator Premium Member

    Processing a couple traumatic events. One included being tied up.

    It lasted a long time. When I was found and the paramedics cut me free, the relief I felt was so profound.

    Now? I’m having a hard time facing this part of the trauma. Humans can be so horrible to other humans.

    Anyone else deal with anything like this?
    Fadeaway, Freida, shimmerz and 4 others like this.
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  3. Joan

    Joan Well-Known Member Donated

    I am so sorry. Humans can be evil and horrible. I was not tied up, but I was trapped for hours and still is a trigger for me. I have learned a lot about what I need or what I can do in situations not to feel trapped, but sometimes it sneaks up on me. Great job for working on this. Take sweet care of yourself as you do tough work.
    Freida and Justmehere like this.
  4. joeylittle

    joeylittle Donation drive til August 1, donate today Administrator Generous $250+

    That was part of what happened to me. It's one of the things that I tend to have physical memories of, that will affect me when I have a flashback.

    Part of what gets hard for me with something like this is, although it's a single thing - my hands were bound - it functions differently, depending on what else was going on. So sometimes, I remember it as being pretty incidental - it wasn't the biggest thing that I was struggling with, in that moment. And other times, it's a critical element in what I was experiencing - it factors large, in that piece of the narrative.

    So, it's actually not a single thing at all, it's multiple moments. It's hard for me to remember that. It's hard with a lot of the physical stuff, because so much of my memory of my body during that time is of my body as a collection of pieces. Parts. And while they are technically all called 'my body', I don't remember things that way.

    I think I have more thoughts on this, but they are foggy. It's hard to explain. I don't know if any of that rings true for your experience.

    How do you notice that you are having a hard time facing it (if you don't mind my asking)?
    Ronin, Freida, shimmerz and 1 other person like this.
  5. Justmehere

    Justmehere Help support myPTSD - more info in Social forum Moderator Premium Member

    This is so true for me too.

    Even the moment of being cut out of being tied up, that was it’s own type of thing.
    I forget that it was part of the trauma, or it’s all that comes to mind about the trauma. When it comes to mind, my face gets flushed and I start to ignore it again. When I try to describe it to my therapist, my body actually stings where I was tied up. I think I feel shame, and I shut down to talking about it. It’s really hard to describe (but it’s been good to try to find the words anyhow.)

    The trauma itself isn’t in my head like a movie, but like a bunch of snapshots. One of the images most burned into my brain was a moment of staring at my hand, while trying to get it free, when much worse was going on. I tried to will myself to feel nothing but my hands and to get free.

    Later on, I broke free once... didn’t last long.

    Other times in my life when I wasn’t tied up but enduring trauma - I can have greater doubt about my helplessness. During the trauma, I could at least do something with my hands to try to survive.

    Being tied up? I was pretty damn helpless. I hate feeling helpless.

    The hours I spent tied up, where the main thing I was enduring was being tied up? All that fear and no where for it to all go...

    It’s also an aspect of trauma that doesn’t seem to get talked about much. Or maybe it’s not that common.
    Freida, shimmerz and joeylittle like this.
  6. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    Not touching this one with a ten foot pole, at the moment, but yep. It’s a piece.
    LuckiLee, Freida, shimmerz and 2 others like this.
  7. Stephernovas

    Stephernovas Well-Known Member

    Being mislead, receiving mixed messages, and being left with the blame of anything that goes wrong (when you were only acting on what was being told). Also when anyone is upset or disappointed with me/ isn't looking out for my best interests
    Freida likes this.
  8. Freida

    Freida Been There, Done That, Lived to Tell the Story Premium Member

    Yep - it's a huge part of my trauma. When we get to close to some memories in EMDR my T always points out that I have my hands clasped together like they are tied. Totally unconscious on my part - they just end up that way as a body memory. Or I will start getting severe pain in my wrists and hands and keep rubbing them - trying to get the blood flowing again.

    We know it's a part of the whole mess but right now its on the back burner while I work on some other stuff. I dread the day we have to really look at it....
    Ronin likes this.
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