The way things went with my last therapist has me scared to try therapy again.

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Shirts_

Ok so my therapist introduced me to another one of her patients because we both have chronic pain disorders. I have a failing pancreas I've been dealing with for years and the other person was just diagnosed(I won't say what with as it's not my place). After many phone calls we both got on very well and had a lot in common so we decided to meet in person. Well after seeing this person in person twice we kissed. Afterwards I decided it was important to tell her that I'm asexual and bi-romantic( I don't have a sex drive and I like both men and woman). It seemed to go well. She seemed confused but not offended at the time.

That night after she went home the texts began. At first it was just telling me I needed to get over being non binary and that I should work on that with my therapist. Then she yelled at me for using they/them pronouns. Called me weird and gross and finally yelled at me for using the word "they" to refer to someone I'd never met because it's one of my "LGBT terms" and shouldn't be used for "normal people"

I got really upset after an hour of trying to talk to her so I told her I never wanted to see her again, that she was a bigot, and that I dodged a bullet with her. Yeah I could have been more mature but I was really hurt. It gets worse from here.

Well a few days later when I talked to my therapist I found out that this woman called my therapist the day after our fight saying I was rude to her after we almost had sex. I felt violated by this and told my therapist what really happened and offered the text conversation as proof. My therapist refused to look at the texts and told me her friend wouldn't do that.

For the next month my every session with this therapist was her telling me to make up with the woman. no matter how many times I said I would never speak to her again unless she apologized and took back what she said. Sex makes me uncomfortable and her going around saying that made me feel gross. I was abused as a child and this really hurt.

Well after a month I broke down. I cried to my therapist told her I was done with this shit and that both my therapist and that woman are bigoted horrible homophobes. Then hung up. The therapist kept calling after so I broke my phone and put myself in the hospital.

I've been without a therapist or psychiatrist for 6 months now. In 2 weeks I'll be meeting my new therapist and I'm so scared and can't stop dwelling.
 
S

Shirts_

I'm not sure who the professional body overseeing her would be and to be honest I'm scared she would just claim I'm at fault like she did when I talked to her last. Also should I tell my new therapist about my old one and what happened. I don't want them to think less of me or not want to help me, but I really wanna talk about it as I'm going stir crazy dwelling.
 

Sues

Confident
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Unfortunately there are a lot of bad therapists out there, but there are also amazing ones too. I hope your next one is exactly what you need. That being said, this therapist said she was introducing you to another one of her clients, and then later called that client a friend. [extremely inappropriate and not allowed for therapists] Then to continue to violate boundaries, is obviously unacceptable. I don't know where you are located, but in the USA we have licensing boards that govern therapists that you can report to. At the very least I hope that you leave a bad review revealing what this therapist did so that others can be warned.

It's always up to you to decide if you want to talk about this with your next therapist, but I certainly would. You were harmed by someone who is in a position of authority, who should have been helping you and creating a safe environment. That is traumatic and another therapist can help you address that.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
That all sounds really traumatic. And that therapist broke so many professional standards.

I hope you feel able to tell this new therapist what happened.

Maybe start with asking this new therapist what their boundaires are. Like, will they talk about you to others? (Which your previous therapist did, and broke professional standards).
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Ok so my therapist introduced me to another one of her patients because we both have chronic pain disorders.
Well, right off the bat, this seems super weird.
That night after she went home the texts began. At first it was just telling me I needed to get over being non binary and that I should work on that with my therapist. Then she yelled at me for using they/them pronouns. Called me weird and gross and finally yelled at me for using the word "they" to refer to someone I'd never met because it's one of my "LGBT terms" and shouldn't be used for "normal people"
Wow...I am so sorry you had to deal with this.
My therapist refused to look at the texts and told me her friend wouldn't do that.
So, was the other person a patient or a friend? In any case, this was really unprofessional of her.
For the next month my every session with this therapist was her telling me to make up with the woman. no matter how many times I said I would never speak to her again unless she apologized and took back what she said. Sex makes me uncomfortable and her going around saying that made me feel gross. I was abused as a child and this really hurt.
This therapist crossed so many boundaries and behaved very unprofessionally. I hope you don't feel like you have to justify feeling hurt. That would be completely natural in this situation!
Well after a month I broke down. I cried to my therapist told her I was done with this shit and that both my therapist and that woman are bigoted horrible homophobes. Then hung up. The therapist kept calling after so I broke my phone and put myself in the hospital.
I'm sorry. :-(
I've been without a therapist or psychiatrist for 6 months now. In 2 weeks I'll be meeting my new therapist and I'm so scared and can't stop dwelling.
I'm glad you're seeing someone new! If it were me, I would definitely talk to them about the situation with the past therapist. It will help them understand your fear and reluctance, and it is something you probably will need to talk through with an actual professional.
 

barefoot

Sponsor
I can only echo what everyone else has said - your previous therapist breached a number of professional boundaries - should never have introduced two patients to socialise together in the first place. And if this other person who you met with was actually your therapist’s friend, that takes her lack of judgement and boundaries to a whole new level!

It’s understandable if you feel cautious about starting with a new therapist after this experience. But it’s great that you recognise you could use the support and that you have found someone else to meet with.

I do think it’s worth telling the new therapist about this experience so that you can explicitly agree boundaries etc from the start. I would honestly expect any decent therapist hearing your story to be absolutely horrified!

Good luck with your new therapist!
 
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