hi..im feeling low and thought sharing my thoughts may help...im a 45yo male..married with 3 kids and have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder..disthymic disorder..ptsd..impulsivity...adhd..extreme paranoia and aggression......tortured with razor at age 5....molested as a young child ...held against will,bashed and raped by gang at 15....girlfriend killed in accident and last girlfriend before my wife was kidnapped,tortured,raped and bashed to death by a pair of teenagers....life is a constant struggle...ive just found out my wife of 20years was forced to perform felatio on her uncle,on a regular basis between the age of 7 and 11...he moved on to her younger sisters and finaly my niece.....now i understand her troubles in dealing with life,and we have started to talk about it,and she will undergo counselling with me.....i have trouble sleeping and eating and constantly think of revenge...whoever said you have to forgive and forget was dreaming....have made huge improvement in health and pain control(fibromyalgia)and arthritis as well as general outlook by using herbal remedy,and it frees me from the drugged up state of medications and lets me leave the house and do limmited work and exercise,but i feel ripped off..like someone should pay....any advise would be greatly appreciated...