1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

The Daily Dose

Get the last 24hrs of new topics delivered to your inbox.

Click Here to Subscribe

Therapist On Holiday I Think Is Triggering Flashbacks/Nightmares?

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by Awakening, Sep 15, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    I feel really tentative about doing this post but here goes nothing.

    I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow and then I won't see her again for 3 weeks.

    My therapist has told me this way in advance as my anxiety rises when she goes away.

    It's unreasonable but her taking a holiday feels like abandonment even though I know it's not.

    Intelluctually, I am fair & reasonable person and I swear I'm perfectly happy for her to take time off. She deserves it and I hope she has a lovely time. That's the part I try & stick with, and I truly do mean it.

    But the other part, that I try desperately to ignore, is well terrified. I feel utterly convinced that something bad will happen to me in her absence. Then I feel anger at her for leaving me with this pain.

    As this has happened on more minor levels before, my therapist proposes that this is because when I was a child my parents (more specifically my mum accordingy to therapist) would occasionally leave me to stay with relatives. It was a relative that was inappropriate towards to me.

    Uggh I'm hating this right now. But anyway I can see her point now. That her absence is bringing up the feelings in me. Or something.

    The problem is, these feelings of fear/abandonment are getting worse. Last night I had the worst nightmares. Well the dreams weren't horrific as such no blood or gore, more the feelings they generated. All variations of the same theme; me desperately trying to reach my therapist, or my therapist abandoning me, the phone not connecting etc. Once in the night I woke up screaming, and another time woke up crying. The rest just woke up.

    So obviously I need to have some strategies in place for whilst my therapist is away. Any suggestions?

    Secondly, do I dare to discuss all this with my therapist tomorrow? Part of me doesn't want to because I feel like a selfish childish person saying I don't want you to go & leave me. Another part already feels myself withdrawing, and thinks stuff you I'll leave first???

    BTW, the last week I've been the best in 2 years I reckon. No alcohol or anything.
  2. Register to participate in live chat, PTSD discussion and more.
  3. canucklady

    canucklady Active Member

    Hello Awakening,

    This is a normal reaction and your therapist has probably heard it before and has experience on how to help you cope. Both of you could work on a plan to help you through the next few weeks. There are several options and you just have to figure out what is best for you.

    When my T goes away for long period of time, she gives me numbers of other therapists I can call in case I need to call someone (I usually don't). And I journal alot, this helps with getting thoughts/feelings out on paper.

    I know the feeling of abandonment all too well. A few times I would just call therapists voicemail, just to hear she way away from office but would be back at a certain date, just hearing that helped me.

    Oh, and keep posting here, there is lots of support. :)
  4. Awakening

    Awakening Well-Known Member

    Well I had the appointment & I just got angry with her. She didn't seem to mind, which seemed to make me even angrier.

    We have a back up plan, doctor, another T, some exercises for me to do.

    But I feel angry, and I know why Im angry and I understand it & know who it belongs, but you know what, still feel angry.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Show Sidebar