Therapist so distant

Alexandra19

New Here
Hi everyone,

l'm so distressed right now. I would really
appreciate your input. Is anyone of you doing
therapy online? My therapist doesn't even greet me, she barely talks to me, has stopped calling me, she's so focused on giving me stuff to listen to, won't let me talk about topics I want. She's supposedly a top psychologist in her field she was a recommendation so I've been hesitant to terminate. How do I go about this? I'm so disappointed don't get what she's trying to do. I'm at my wits end so depressed don't know who to turn to. Have any of you experienced this behaviour from a psychologist before?? I don't get what she's trying to do she's not consistent in her approach....
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
yes, i've had similar experiences. i, too, ask why when i can but don't press it on the evasion tactics, or whatever is causing the missed connections. i just let that mystery be and keep hunting for the comfortable fit. there is a whole heap of trial and error in the healing process.
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
Remember who's paying for the therapy? Stand up for yourself. Stop things when you don't like whats going on and say so. Sounds to me like this person spends a lot of time doing remote work and has become disconnected. They are treating it like an endless "zoom meeting" and forgetting you are a patient.
 

Alexandra19

New Here
Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply I really appreciate your input!

Has any of you had similar experiences with the therapist keeping such a distance? Maybe because I had a little difficulty opening up sometimes? She makes me feel so terrible I agree with Freddyt maybe it’s because she does too much remote work I still feel it’s unacceptable. Sometimes I feel she’s trying to make me terminate! I don’t know what to think anymore! What do you guys think?
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Has any of you had similar experiences with the therapist keeping such a distance? Maybe because I had a little difficulty opening up sometimes? She makes me feel so terrible I agree with Freddyt maybe it’s because she does too much remote work I still feel it’s unacceptable. Sometimes I feel she’s trying to make me terminate! I don’t know what to think anymore! What do you guys think?
Yes. I had a very good relationship with my therapist until we went remote. He got more and more distant and wasn't helping at all. When I told him I wanted to cancel all future appointments, he just said ok and sent me the statement I requested (for both last and this year--I didn't request this year). I've been seeing him for almost 10 years, and I fully believe he was finally just done but didn't want to say so (because he knew I had NO support besides him and that I would not seek further therapy).
 

Alexandra19

New Here
yes, i've had similar experiences. i, too, ask why when i can but don't press it on the evasion tactics, or whatever is causing the missed connections. i just let that mystery be and keep hunting for the comfortable fit. there is a whole heap of trial and error in the healing process.
Thanks a lot for the reply! I’m so puzzled by it and so distressed. Thought to give her time to see if something changes before saying something but she hasn’t changed. Don’t know how to go about it but I’ll have to talk to her. Why do you think your therapist did this to you? I never thought anyone would say they had a similar experience. Do you think she could be trying to gauge a response from me?

It's just your PTSD lying to you. All you need to do is tell her how you feel. Start there.
Thanks for the reply. Why do you say that though?

I would ask her.
She had a different approach and suddenly out of the blue changed it I don’t get why she’s keeping a distance from me. Why do you think that could be?
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
Because pretty simply, if you have PTSD you no longer make decisions and assign feelings using your prefrontal cortex. Instead it comes through the Fight or flight part. All that can understand is fear and negativity. So if everything that comes in is bad or angry or panic? Its very possible your PTSD is lying to you by assigning the wrong emotion to things. Thats the lie.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
She had a different approach and suddenly out of the blue changed it I don’t get why she’s keeping a distance from me. Why do you think that could be?
I don't think it helps to speculate. Could be lots of reasons, some having nothing to do with you or the therapy. Ask her. It's the only way you'll know for sure, and it will ease your mind once you know.
 
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