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Therapists mood

Discussion in 'Treatment & Therapy' started by Surfergal, May 9, 2018.

  1. Surfergal

    Surfergal Member

    Does anyone here ever find they pick up on their therapist's moods? Do you bring it up if so? How do they respond?
    UnicornSightings likes this.
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  3. Muttly

    Muttly I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    Yes, I can pick up on her mood sometimes. Yes, I have commented on it.

    One time especially, she just seemed really revved. I think I said, "wow, you ate your wheaties today". What I didn't say is I felt a bit rushed and like she wasn't listening. I said something else too, maybe saying she was being feisty. At that point she acknowledged what I said and seemed to take a moment to reflect. She said she'd been thinking a lot about me (ack!) and that's why she'd started in the way she had.

    That may have been the same time I felt she kept getting side tracked. Which she does sometimes and it bothers me, but not that much usually as it's a brief sidetrack and is still usually therapy related. This time, I was already frustrated and made some comment. It turns up my commented pushed her buttons a bit and for a bit we were both out of sync which is not normal and not communicating well. She then owned up that what I'd said is something that has been said to her by others in an unkind way and so she'd probably showing some reaction to that. She also pointed out that I was having more problems with her than normal (true) and was also having problems at work, and in the past with the mom, with women who were over involved. It was a good point and after that things flowed better.
    Junebug likes this.
  4. Teamwork

    Teamwork Active Member

    One time he said one word and I replied with, you have a cold. He said you are sensitive to how people are. We had a good talk about that. How I look for changes or notice changes because my secure place is in consistency and no changes. But he also recently was very much clock watching in the appt. when I left his building window guys were putting windows in and I suspected that part of him was thinking about his responsibility towards them. For that, no I didn’t say anything as he is rarely off. The only time I say something is when he comes out of the gate too quick after hello. He has a habit of peppering me with initial questions and that is because I may not answer the first one so he moves on. I fixed this though by letting him know that the hiway drive in for the appt is often anxiety provoking for me as is entering the building, so when he is asking me questions I am actually grounding. He now does grounding first questions second and less hurried.
    Junebug likes this.
  5. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    It would be strange to me to NOT pick up on people’s moods. Most people project them pretty strongly.

    Whether or not I say anything depends a lot on the situation.
    DogwoodTree, Junebug and Sietz like this.
  6. Mach123

    Mach123 Well-Known Member Premium Member Donated

    I don't think she'd show me. I've seen her sick but even then she seemed like herself to me. She always seems the same. Maybe it's professionalism or maybe that's just her. She got mad this week and sometimes she goes a little 'left of center' on me but, overall she's really good. She's human too.
    Mee likes this.
  7. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    I pick up on everyone’s moods. I don’t do anything about it or say anything because 999 times out of 1000 it has nothing to do with me.
  8. Surfergal

    Surfergal Member

    I find therapists (at least mine anyway) tries to hide her moods and does quite a good job of it.

    I agree logically I am aware that if someone is in a mood it is not always about me. That doesn't mean it doesn't affect me.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 10, 2018
  9. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    Are you referring to professionalism?

    Just a bit confused as to where you’re coming from/going to with this. 1 you say you’re picking up on her moods, 2 you say she’s good at hiding her moods, I’m just not getting a clear picture of the situation you’re dealing with.
  10. Surfergal

    Surfergal Member

    I'm not really going anywhere with it per say I was just curious if others find they pick up on their therapist's mood even though many therapists try not to reveal them (or remain professional as you say) and if it brings anything up for them in therapy.

    I have had difficulties whereby my therapists mood has changed on a few occasions. Of course, this is normal behaviour of anyone including therapists and we all have different moods at different times. The mood doesn't impact their professionalism or their ability to function as a therapist per say but it does impact me as it triggers me. They don't/won't acknowledge that there is any change in them when this happens which causes me to doubt my perceptions of what is happening and also triggers me as it is similar to past experiences. I don't need to know what they are feeling or what that change is as I know it's not my business and it's not about them etc only that there is a change. Logically I also know the reason for the potential change in mood has nothing to do with me but logic can't beat emotions and it sets off a cascade of feelings etc. I can tell myself it's all fine and just to move past it as it's likely not about me but it is very difficult to do so and thus impacts the session.

    I was just wondering other peoples experiences with this. I know some therapists are perhaps more open with how they are feeling (if a client asks and brings attention to something that is and it's relevant to being helpful to the client they may say 'yes, I'm feeling a bit tired" or whatever and move on).
  11. Chris-duck

    Chris-duck Active Member

    I think a lot of people on here would be pretty good at reading their therapists emotions. Or at the very least, trying really hard to subconsciously or not. I think for me it's a safety thing, if someone appears to be in a bad mood then I don't want to make it worse or if it's a good mood I don't want to ruin it. I think this is normal human behaviour but if previously someone's mood has had pretty shit consequences it makes sense to be more conscious of it in the future.

    It's also true that therapists have a limit on what they can admit to. They can say "sorry I'm having a hard day" or "I'm a bit tired" but they also need to be mindful of this turning around so that the sessions revolve around them. I dunno if any of this is relevant to your real question. Sorry hah
  12. Junebug

    Junebug I'm a VIP Premium Member Donated

    I feel this way very much so, with people. Especially to being a burden or using up time or effort that could/ (should?) go to someone (anyone) else.
  13. Nessa7

    Nessa7 Well-Known Member Donated

    I think like a lot of people here that I grew up needing to pay a lot of attention to the moods of others. I do pick up on my therapist's moods, but I don't generally bring it up. I think part of learning how to have healthier relationships is not paying so much attention to small fluctuations that are perfectly normal and do not affect me. I have only brought it up as small talk, like saying that she looked like she was feeling better after surgery and things like that.
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