Therapy Hangover After Disclosure

RNrecovery

Learning
During round one of therapy 20 years ago there wasn’t a lot of processing details. I was a hot mess and decided to focus stabilization and building solid relationships. It isn’t that I denied previous trauma I just really pushed learning all the coping skills I missed out on while I was just surviving. I always had it in the back of my mind that I would go back when I was older and process the trauma of I felt I needed it.

I’ve been with my therapist for a little over a year now. I was incredibly lucky to find someone who is good at what she does. I am never pushed and she’s careful not to risk retraumatization. Yesterday we talked through one of the darkest periods of CSA. Luckily today was my short day at work so I went home and slept for three hours. I found myself sad today but I’m a different way than being depressed. I haven’t really let myself be sad or grieve over my childhood. It felt pointless and like moving forward was the only way to heal. But now I see the wisdom in letting myself grieve even though it’s exhausting.

I hope I don’t feel this tired after every session. That said I feel a tiny bit more at peace.
 

Warrior Chicken

MyPTSD Pro
Hey there, just wanted to chime in here and say I'm with you on how you're feeling. Also grateful for a therapist who sounds similar to yours in not pushing, careful not to risk retraumatization. I also took the plunge last week and put words to what I thought would remain unspeakable.
Even though we may not see it for what it's worth ourselves....it takes tremendous courage to put those things from the past out in the space between ourselves and another person. Especially if you were taught there were consequences for doing that.

I also hope it gets easier and less tiring for you after you continue to work on you. You deserve more of the peace you felt yesterday, hope that grows too.
 

Sues

Confident
Hi, processing trauma is tiring for me. Some sessions are more tiring than others. It just depends on what we do and what comes up and how I feel about it. I'm so glad you're able to go through this and feel some peace. I know how hard it is to face those memories and feelings.
 

RNrecovery

Learning
Hey there, just wanted to chime in here and say I'm with you on how you're feeling. Also grateful for a therapist who sounds similar to yours in not pushing, careful not to risk retraumatization. I also took the plunge last week and put words to what I thought would remain unspeakable.
Even though we may not see it for what it's worth ourselves....it takes tremendous courage to put those things from the past out in the space between ourselves and another person. Especially if you were taught there were consequences for doing that.

I also hope it gets easier and less tiring for you after you continue to work on you. You deserve more of the peace you felt yesterday, hope that grows too.
I love the name warrior chicken. Thank you for your thoughtful response. I am happy to hear that there are other therapists out there who understand that everyone needs a different approach and you can't rush things. I worked mental health for a decade before moving into acute care and primary care. In that time I saw so many well meaning therapists re-traumatize people because they pushed too fast or didn't know how to have boundaries and create a rapport. I think if at any point I had been pushed I would have either quite therapy or I would have just focuses on work stress management.

I hope that you are also able to find peace.

Hi, processing trauma is tiring for me. Some sessions are more tiring than others. It just depends on what we do and what comes up and how I feel about it. I'm so glad you're able to go through this and feel some peace. I know how hard it is to face those memories and feelings.
I feel much better today. I am still a bit tired but I also stayed up a little too late in the black hole of Netflix. I will say that I don't feel the usual knot of anxiety and fear. I just feel tired, peaceful, and a bit sad all at once. My kitties and wife don't mine because they get extra snuggles when I am in this mindset.
 

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
Yes I feel sad. I don’t feel like it’s a therapy hangover anymore. Can’t really explain it. I can’t pinpoint what causes it still. It’s like approaching something or getting close to something. I don’t know what though
 
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