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Message: <blockquote data-quote="grit" data-source="post: 1773731" data-attributes="member: 46894">[USER=25466]@PreciousChild[/USER] I see what you are saying and if  I understand it correctly I think what you are describing in the example can have greater repercussions in intimate and adult relationship if it is not processed with the past and present issues and make a sense of it. To me, this may create a tit for tat or competition in relationship where it becomes who can put up with more shit at any given time. What I was struggling was in all fairness, I am not at the moment in struggle of relationships but more about external - looking for a tenant, doing school, doing a good job and hopefully getting a perm job etc. but yet in therapy, I find often I completely fall back into the past - pure post trauma and I was trying to break this damn chain.I am trying to learn how to move from the past since its benefits are ingrained in me now, I need to leave the rest of it there temporally where it belongs and thank you for giving me another version that I did not even consider and this example even makes me open my eyes as if I do this sometimes too.</blockquote>