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Things I Have Learned...But Do Not Always Practice!

Discussion in 'Accomplishments' started by minceymeatpie, Mar 26, 2007.

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  1. minceymeatpie

    minceymeatpie Member

    These are the things I have learned.

    As an adult I possess the power to choose.
    I may often forget this or dislike the idea that I do, but I know that I have the power to make decisions that affect my life. I may prefer to place the blame on those who hurt me, but my adult life is of my making. I can choose not to choose but that in itself is a choice. I can choose to go to work even when I don't feel like I can face the world. I can choose to be kind and listen to my patients even when I feel like I want to lash out or when I want to switch off. Even now, I can choose whether or not to go home and I have the power to decide how much power I give to others over me (though I'm right now choosing wrongly, it's still a choice...) I choose every day to live even though many days I feel like I wish to die. I choose not to hurt those around me. It is my choice when I decide to speak honestly with my physician and equally my choice when I decide to be avoidant. I may not choose the correct path, but I choose all the same and nobody can take that away from me.​

    Only I can quit the race.
    I learned that even when everybody else has given up on me, I will make it if I don't join the crowd. It was predicted I would flunk in 10th grade after I overdosed. I was suspended from school for that and threatened with expulsion. My teachers didn't think I would make it. My psychiatrist told me she thought I would ultimately kill myself within two years. Well, evidently I didn't. I finished high school, was accepted into medical school immediately after, and became the youngest person in my university faculty to graduate medicine at 23. I am still in the race.​

    I am blessed.
    Even though it sometimes felt I was cursed, I had many things that many others did not. There was always at least one person in my life at any point in time that believed in my ability to succeed. Even if it was only one person, I had that much. I read somewhere once that in a study of juvenile delinquents that looked at what happened to them, ultimately it showed that if there was only one person in that delinquent's life that had a positive influence on them and that he/she could talk to, the outcomes were startlingly more positive than if there was nobody.​

    I can't run from my shadow forever.
    It sucks because I don't really like the looks of my shadow but it is always going to be there. I know I have to learn to accept it. I haven't succeeded yet but someday I hope to.​

    Pre-tending is often useful, but must be followed by tending.
    As in, tending to what it is that makes me afraid of being real. Right now I continue pre-tending but I know it lies ahead of me to tend to my fears and hurts. And I have learned that when I am with friends, I need not pretend. I can attend to myself in safety.​

    Healing is optional.
    Just as life is optional. Obviously both are certainly the preferred, socially-acceptable, morally-responsible options. But they are options nonetheless. I opt for both but by god it is hard and sometimes I regress into deciding that healing is something that will either "happen" or "not happen" and treat it like a big Healing Lottery Ticket.​
    So anyway those are the things I think I have learned through living with the aftereffects of the past. Did I mention that I have learned these things but need not necessarily always practice them?
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  3. batgirl

    batgirl I'm a VIP

    Really great stuff mince, well done. I relate to much of it. It was a really good thing for me to read first thing in the morning. Thanks for sharing!
  4. Kathy

    Kathy I'm a VIP

    What wonderful things to have learned mince, very essential to living a successful life. Practicing is something we must all do, for the rest of our lives. Learning is half the battle, and it looks like you're doing that part quite well. Congratulations, and thank you for sharing!
  5. anthony

    anthony Silently Watching Founder

    I like your list, and wish more would use it to help themselves. Thanks MMP.
  6. Marlene

    Marlene I'm a VIP Premium Member


    Your list is great. So many people forget that everything in life is a choice and our whole life is a series of choices and the consequences (good and bad) of those choices.

    You chose to learn these things. You may not always practice them (another choice), but you still have that incredible choice of starting to. Kathy's right...it's a lifetime thing to keep practicing what we learn.

    Thanks for sharing your awesome list.
    jenny72 likes this.
  7. 712xx

    712xx Well-Known Member

    Regarding action verses inaction: I don't think we always have the power of choice (like the title says, yet gave a slight contradictory "we can choose" speech for content).

    We can't always choose to act due to the disabiling effects of mental illness, but usually do have the power to not act (whatever 'it' is). For example, we may not always have the ability to get out of bed, but we can try to keep our mind on positive things while our body rests and gathers strength. The action of getting up might not be in our power of choice, but we can choose where our mind goes while laying in bed. When negativity creeps in, we can choose to dwell on it, or figure out a way beyond those thoughts and feelings.

    However, it is a nice reminder. I'm only guessing, but suspect this post was written when the poster was feeling 'well'. I wonder if these kinds of things can be written in the dark mists of depression, et al?
    Rain and Zef like this.
  8. Eleanor

    Eleanor I'm a VIP

    I think we always have the power to form intentions - although not always the power to act on them. And I think that the intentions always "count" and it seems like, in some mysterious way, they have an effect on how things go in the future. So even if all you can do it intend, it is still worth it, even if the action, ultimately and despite your best efforts, fails.

    Guess that's kind of like faith.

    Rain, Daisygirl and 712xx like this.
  9. 712xx

    712xx Well-Known Member

    That is an interesting thing about intentions Eleanor. Sadly, intentions only count for self-satisfaction. Outsiders tend to think the worst of people with mental illness, rather than giving the benefit of the doubt. So, even when we have the best of intentions on our heart, it is often overlooked and misinterpreted. When I have given a voice to my intentions to others, they usually reply with, "hell is paved with good intentions."

    I agree with you, but people I've had to deal with are not as kind as you are; thanks btw.
    Rain likes this.
  10. Eleanor

    Eleanor I'm a VIP


    Here's to all of us finding (and being) a better class of people to deal with.

    I always knew I hated that saying, especially when it is used as a cudgel.:mad:

    You are most welcome. Though I'm not sure what I said that's deserving of thanks...?
    Rain likes this.
  11. The Albatross

    The Albatross Product of decisions rather than circumstances Premium Member Sponsor $100+

    If you don't like where you are MOVE. Movement in any direction will get me somethere different. Procrastination just feeds the depressive aspect and my own sense of self worthlessness.
    Rain, Eleanor and Daisygirl like this.
  12. ^^FlyingSolo^^

    ^^FlyingSolo^^ - Acceptance, hope, Courage, Forgivness -

    Journal your feelings: I can't I'm too damn lazy. I just keep it all in a file in my head.
  13. wdkywomys

    wdkywomys Active Member

    Thanks for sharing :)
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