I guess I belong here. My medical providers suck. Seriously, I don’t think my psychiatrist knows a thing about PTSD and it’s first cousin depression with suicidality. Amonthago I was declining. I happened to have my every three month med check with the shrink. I must have said something weird but he asked me to come back in a month. Made the appt that was for last week. Days before his office called and changed it to 3 days later. Well I ended up in crisis called my therapist got the crisis hotline number then for some stupid reason I called my shrink. I was desperate very desperate I hadn’t slept for days. So I had him paged and it took him a half hour to call. He hung up on me and called the police a huge trigger for me and he knows that. Long story short, the crisis center arranged for a house visit and he was very calm and helpful although I had no idea who he was, but anyway I agreed to make a safety plan. Hours later my therapist called he had turned off his phone and didn’t get the message I left at 6am but he called. So I’m still alive but have made the decision that I will take comfort measures and I’ve stopped my statin and my inhaler. So I am waiting for the shrinks Telehealth call and he didn’t call. Later that day a rude nasty 12 year old receptionist called and lit into me for not making a post crisis appointment . I told her I was booked and she denied I had an appointment and nobody called me. I said hold on, looked at my recent calls on my phone and there it was an incoming call from his office. When I told her it was verified by my phone she gave the phone to someone else. Too bad for me they have no appointments for 2 months. This is how I was treated a week after a crisis. Why I think I can live in this world is beyond me. So I bought the Martin guitar I’ve been saving for and that makes me happy. It’s all mahogany with a warm tone. Still don’t want to be alive.