Teawitheggs
Not Active
Hi all; thanks for being here.
I delayed diagnosis because I have health problems and I’m very familiar with the medical profession’s relegating anything other than severe physical damage to mental health where I live, and I couldn’t risk that until recently. I also have a traumatic brain injury and narcolepsy, neither of which are going to go away even if I do figure out even better ways to self-accommodate. After my ptsd (complex, severe, with dissociation and anxiety) diagnosis, I needed acute healthcare and was sent home sick to meditate and practice mindfulness... (our medical records are online and available to all practitioners). Good thing I have a long term background in natural healing and a home apothecary.
Anyway, I am just finishing Pete Walker’s Cptsd book for the second time and I’m taking his advice to find a forum with people who get it, and I’m hoping to find a local therapist; I have numbers to call on Monday.
I’m in my 40s now and just realizing that not only do I not have an identity beyond my roles, I need to figure out how much of my self is strategies and reactions to abuse and how much is my authentic self. I’ve been rebuilding an identity after losing it from TBI, and I’m also beginning to remember memories that have until recently been lost from that injury. I’m remembering also that I did remember before TBI, and I find evidence of that in writing I did before. My children also remember and talk with me about things as they come up. My children were also abused- not by me, which I think is such a mercy because my life was a perfect set-up for turning me into an abuser but it didn’t happen and I just think I’m super lucky.
Complex everything it seems. Thank you all for being here; I am both nervous about participating and feeling just the tiniest twinges of relief that the damaged and traumatized parts of me might not be absolutely alone in the world.
I delayed diagnosis because I have health problems and I’m very familiar with the medical profession’s relegating anything other than severe physical damage to mental health where I live, and I couldn’t risk that until recently. I also have a traumatic brain injury and narcolepsy, neither of which are going to go away even if I do figure out even better ways to self-accommodate. After my ptsd (complex, severe, with dissociation and anxiety) diagnosis, I needed acute healthcare and was sent home sick to meditate and practice mindfulness... (our medical records are online and available to all practitioners). Good thing I have a long term background in natural healing and a home apothecary.
Anyway, I am just finishing Pete Walker’s Cptsd book for the second time and I’m taking his advice to find a forum with people who get it, and I’m hoping to find a local therapist; I have numbers to call on Monday.
I’m in my 40s now and just realizing that not only do I not have an identity beyond my roles, I need to figure out how much of my self is strategies and reactions to abuse and how much is my authentic self. I’ve been rebuilding an identity after losing it from TBI, and I’m also beginning to remember memories that have until recently been lost from that injury. I’m remembering also that I did remember before TBI, and I find evidence of that in writing I did before. My children also remember and talk with me about things as they come up. My children were also abused- not by me, which I think is such a mercy because my life was a perfect set-up for turning me into an abuser but it didn’t happen and I just think I’m super lucky.
Complex everything it seems. Thank you all for being here; I am both nervous about participating and feeling just the tiniest twinges of relief that the damaged and traumatized parts of me might not be absolutely alone in the world.