Those nights - Too wired for sleep, & having flashbacks

Theasylumsystem

Moderated
Its 1am and I feel wired. Flashbacks are moments away and I feel myself sinking into that normal routine of wide awake and on the verge of panic. My service dog is still awake so it helps. It's just so frustrating knowing that I have classes tomorrow but I'm still not going to get any sleep tonight. Do you ever feel like that? Like Its not really even that late but I know I'm not gonna sleep. Its such a specific feeling. Just that high alert, wide awake feeling. I hate it. Guess I should try to be productive?
 

Friday

Moderator
Do you ever feel like that?
Every autumn for a few weeks up to a couple of months, as well as a few one offs or short jags over the course of the year. It’s funny, avoidance, because the autumn thing has been happening for over 20 years, and yet? I always always always forget it’s coming, and it usually takes me a week or two before the penny drops…. And I’m just like ‘Oh. Right. THIS. Again. Damnit.’

Guess I should try to be productive?
That’s what does me best; burn off all the go-go-go! chemicals in my bloodstream.

Upping my physical activity over the course of the day ALSO helps, tremendously, but I generally need at least 1-3 hours in the gym -or some fantastic sex- right before bed if I’m going to be sleeping tonight, at all. Instead of waiting for the adrenaline crash to let me sleep.
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I have a really hard time sleeping. When I am in go mode, I usually get up and do things until I feel sleepy. If my mind is racing, I listen to an audiobook and eventually I fall asleep. I conditioned myself to fall asleep to a book so now it takes no more than half an hour usually. There are some nights I don't sleep at all. I know it's hard when you have to be somewhere in the morning, I'm retired now so I have a lot less stress around sleeping. I can do my farm chores and go back to bed.
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
it's been quite a few years since i've suffered chronic insomnia, but i remember, all too well, the horror of it. in my own case, "horror" is not too strong a word. the nightmares which had me afraid to sleep all too often leaked through into the stillness of the night.

a therapy journal and restfully productive activities were my ticket out of that vicious cycle. all these years later, i find it ironic that sometimes i actually miss my insomnia. by the time i found my way off of that not-so-merry-go-round those insomnia hours had gently morphed into the most productive hours of my day.
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
Hi, I used to suffer from terrible insomnia. Very scary. I also used to drink alot of alcohol which f*cks up your sleep. Now I don't drink and take medication at night which helps me sleep. I usually just fall asleep on my couch watching the TV. Then when I wake up I go straight to bed.

Reading might help you. It gives your mind a distraction from the flashbacks and tires your mind. Best wishes and hope it gets better for you.
 

Freddyt

MyPTSD Pro
Before being diagnosed I was trying to figure out if there was a trigger for my eye pain issues. The one thing I found for sure was that my symptoms were worse around the equinoxes. Don't know why but that's when they seemed worst.

Sleep though? Just gave up worrying about it. If I sleep I sleep. If not - find something else to do. If I wake up, like wide awake, get up and find something to do. Worry just seems to make things worse and when you are tired on top of that it seems to go negative pretty quick if you are not careful. I am just coming through that thing now too. Sleep has been uneven at best but compared to where I was in 2019 its near paradise. Haven't had less than 2 hours sleep in a night in a while.
 

AlohaFrost

New Here
Hypoarousal symptoms before bed…not the sexy kind either.
2.5 hrs most nights. Prazozin has been helpful blocking the content of some recurring dreams but nothing for the usual cptsd bedtime script. Or for length of sleep.

i guess I hadn’t thought much til Freddy T there and an article I read the other night about maybe stress less and maybe accept ( one vet slept in his locked truck near his kids school because he’d get a guaranteed 2 solid) just like the whole 24 hour day is a European global unnatural dominance thing or whatever. Lol. I haven’t slept much over the past week or two. i guess I just dread being tired and seen as less than” functional as human cuz of all this trauma stuff. Good night all! Thanks for sharing. I’m lifelong but recently more diagnosed.

Its 1am and I feel wired. Flashbacks are moments away and I feel myself sinking into that normal routine of wide awake and on the verge of panic. My service dog is still awake so it helps. It's just so frustrating knowing that I have classes tomorrow but I'm still not going to get any sleep tonight. Do you ever feel like that? Like Its not really even that late but I know I'm not gonna sleep. Its such a specific feeling. Just that high alert, wide awake feeling. I hate it. Guess I should try to be productive?
I taught a few college classes…it’s terrifying not knowing how you are going to sleep the night before lecturing! Or hopping up to drive on a planned weekend hike with colleagues and previous bad nights add up to zero energy? I hear ya!
that other feeling. Yes. also. I know when I wont sleep. I used to think it was a superpower in grad school. in retrospect, i rarely felt safe for long at any point in my life so I felt in control when it happened for sure. Eerily Calm even lol. Focused. It felt good. But Frustrated too. All the dread about the extra caffeine needed the next day…too. Still happens to me. Chain reaction to irritation and whhhyyy meeee? stuff.
 
Top