Time for a restraining order for my adoptive parents

moonjuice85

New Here
Hi all. I'm exploring the restraining order process for the first time. I received another letter yesterday from my abusers stating that they will continue to show up at my house and "if I don't like that I can call and arrange a time." ...This is after reminding me how lucky I am that they didn't send me into foster care. When I was 12. (I was adopted by them when I was a baby. It goes on.) These people have never uttered a word of accountability for the things that led to my C-PTSD dx. I run a farm at my home so the safety of that space is shattered until I have this tool in place. Apparently my county requires charges first so I am steeling myself for a long process that involves waiting for them to trespass again.

I did take my inner child grocery shopping afterward and we got some winners in the pantry this morning!! #cinnamontoastcrunch #applesauce #whitegrapejuice thank you for reading and any thoughts on this process 🙏
 

Defaultxlove

MyPTSD Pro
#cinnamontoastcrunch #applesauce #whitegrapejuice
yes yes yes


so
are you able to report exactly what you wrote here? Trespassing is not all that needs to take place for a restraining order where I am

where I am its called order of protection.

a different place I lived ---all you needed was "I told them to leave me alone and they are threatening to force themselves onto my property"

Im sorry you find you need one :(
 

moonjuice85

New Here
yes yes yes


so
are you able to report exactly what you wrote here? Trespassing is not all that needs to take place for a restraining order where I am

where I am its called order of protection.

a different place I lived ---all you needed was "I told them to leave me alone and they are threatening to force themselves onto my property"

Im sorry you find you need one :(
Thank you 🙏 that is encouraging. I'll talk to someone in the resource office too, maybe that's more common than I thought.

Hi @moonjuice85 , sorry your going through that, people not respecting your boundaries when you've clearly told them to leave you alone. Causing you distress.
Thank you for your support. Yes my body literally stops me. I've had more panic attacks this year than my entire life. Appreciate you.
 

moonjuice85

New Here
Update: I visited the county law library to fill out the paperwork. First thing they directed me to a free legal advocate. I explained some things and she was ready to help. But when she started with our names, she said unfortunately my agency can't help you and I can't tell you why. There's a conflict of interest with your abusers. I held back the tears and went to fill it out myself. I realized I had been naive to the process as I learned that I would have to face them in court and testify. I'm going to wait to do anything and focus on self care. I have considered sending a certified letter with the help of a lawyer instead. I'll update again soon. 🧘‍♀️
 

Sideways

Moderator
First thing they directed me to a free legal advocate.
Don't know where you are, but consider approaching another free/community legal service in your area. Very often there are multiple different services available, and having that support can be really helpful.

It can be done without legal help. If you have a supportive therapist or community support worker, that can also be invaluable. And oftentimes, a good friend standing beside you, just physically being there? Is enough to remove that feeling of "me against the world" that makes this feel next to impossible.
 

moonjuice85

New Here
Update: I sent the letter through a lawyer! At first she crushed me bc my account only involved sporadic physical safety issues in the last 12 yrs (including charges brought by the state, but it was awhile ago) plus of course childhood. Then she read the correspondences I've been dealing with the last year and sent me a draft the next day. We laid out specifically what no contact is defined as (calls and texts but also social media, third parties), and that being on my property would be considered trespassing. Any further contact would be considered harassment and I have been advised of legal remedies (police reports ---> RO). Buzzing with anxiety and courage. Insight Timer (meditation app) has been my best friend lately. I reached out and received support from a few friends that have known the deal since I was little so that was validating too. I'm grateful for all of you. 💛
 

moonjuice85

New Here
This manifests in a lack of status in the new family, problems of loyalty to the adoptive and biological parents, and a sense of humiliation. Unfounded relationships with the biological mother create a deep inner-personal conflict in the child, preventing them from perceiving her positively and entering into a positive relationship with her.
I'm unclear about your intentions and would advise you to reread my post because it sounds like you are suggesting I try again with my abusers, which is unhelpful and quite offensive.
 
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Sideways

Moderator
Mod Note:
@moonjuice85 - If you ever get a post you're concerned about, you can report it to staff to take a look at by simply hitting the Report button at the bottom of the post that you're concerned about:

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We have a zero tolerance policy for Spam. It mostly gets picked up by staff fairly quickly, but hitting Report on any post draws it to our attention directly:)
 
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