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Tips to make your spouse feel loved

Thread starter #1
Whether you've been married for a few years or a few decades, it can be easy to slip into complacency. Unfortunately, even the most loving couples can sometimes take each other for granted. If you're ready to reignite the spark that you felt when you first started dating, it's important to start taking the time to make your spouse feel loved. No matter how far apart you may have drifted, it's possible to take steps to grow closer together once again.

Openness and honesty
First off, talk openly and honestly with your spouse about your relationship. Ask your partner if there are any bad habits you've been exhibiting that make the relationship more stressful. For example, maybe you tend to be grumpy when you get off work. Perhaps your words are harsher than you mean for them to be. Maybe you're critical when you talk about your partner's physical appearance. Have an honest discussion about reasonable steps you can take to make your partner feel more important and valuable. While it may seem strange, when you behave in a way that makes your partner feel frustrated or aggravated, your spouse isn't going to feel loved or cherished.

Making time
It's also important that you carve time out of your day to spend with your spouse. This can be tricky if you have different work schedules or if you both have personal commitments, but it's important. Taking time out of your day to meet your spouse for coffee, to spend time watching a movie together, or to just do something that you both enjoy can truly make a difference in the way that your partner feels about your relationship. Take an honest look at your daily schedule and try to figure out if there's a way that you could squeeze in more "together" time with your partner.

Listen actively
Make sure that you also listen attentively when your spouse shares something with you. Whether your husband is talking about his new video game or your wife is talking about a dress she'd love to buy sometime, active listening shows your partner that you care. You might be tempted to let your mind wander when your spouse talks about something that seems boring to you, but the truth is that listening attentively demonstrates respect and importance to your partner. If you want your spouse to feel loved, try to take a genuine interest in the things that are important to them.

Positive vs negative talk
Finally, never talk badly about your spouse. Even if your husband is driving you nuts or your wife has been unusually cranky, make an effort to only use positive, uplifting words when you talk about your partner. Unfortunately, negative words said in frustration can easily turn into gossip that causes harm to your relationship. If you feel like you need to vent, consider writing your thoughts down in a journal instead of complaining about your partner to a friend or colleague.
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