Tired of the cycle

Theasylumsystem

Confident
I feel better to feel worse. The cycle rinses and repeats.

I want to feel free from it all. I want the endless cycle to stop. I'm so exhausted from fighting to survive. I want to be able to feel at peace for just a moment. I'm tired of getting better to get 2000% worse. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder constantly. I'm tired of not being good enough for anyone or myself. I'm burnt out. I want to be done with it all. It's not even that I want to die really. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop and I can't find a way out.

I hate this. I hate feeling like no matter what the f*ck I do or how hard I try I'm just going to end up back here. it all seems so pointless. I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore.

At some point, I feel like my "resistance" is just foolishness. I can't give up because I'm a coward and I'm too stupid to know when to quit. It's all pointless. There's nothing left in me. I don't feel like there's any fight or drive left. I'm just... done.
 

ladee

MyPTSD Pro
I understand. My battles are different but the feelings are the same. I want off this roller coaster some days. It's rarely a fun ride.

Sorry I don't know the cicumstances of you being here and if you post and ask for feedback. Just saying it helps to get different perspectives. A different way of doing things.


This journey is hard. And many many times feels pointless. BUT, things do shift. Nothing profound until we are on the other side and realize it WAS profound.

Just don't give up. You still have a lot of options left. It just doesn't feel like it right now.

Take a break from all this. Even if t doesn't feel like it matters and even if you don't want to, take a break.

Maybe other members have some suggestions for you.

You aren't alone. We are all tired and wonder when we get to celebrate.

Thinking of you. You aren't alone.
 
E

Eman

I feel better to feel worse. The cycle rinses and repeats.

I want to feel free from it all. I want the endless cycle to stop. I'm so exhausted from fighting to survive. I want to be able to feel at peace for just a moment. I'm tired of getting better to get 2000% worse. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder constantly. I'm tired of not being good enough for anyone or myself. I'm burnt out. I want to be done with it all. It's not even that I want to die really. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop and I can't find a way out.

I hate this. I hate feeling like no matter what the f*ck I do or how hard I try I'm just going to end up back here. it all seems so pointless. I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore.

At some point, I feel like my "resistance" is just foolishness. I can't give up because I'm a coward and I'm too stupid to know when to quit. It's all pointless. There's nothing left in me. I don't feel like there's any fight or drive left. I'm just... done.
Hi, did you undergo therapy? and how long have you been suffering from PTSD Symptoms? im in your shoe now for 6 months its really hard
 

Theasylumsystem

Confident
Hi, did you undergo therapy? and how long have you been suffering from PTSD Symptoms? im in your shoe now for 6 months its really hard
I've been in therapy for around 3 years now. My ptsd started when I was around 18 and I'm 21 now, sadly I've always had depression/anxiety since I was very little so this cycle has been going on since I was like 11
 
S

Sadderday

I feel better to feel worse. The cycle rinses and repeats.

I want to feel free from it all. I want the endless cycle to stop. I'm so exhausted from fighting to survive. I want to be able to feel at peace for just a moment. I'm tired of getting better to get 2000% worse. I'm tired of looking over my shoulder constantly. I'm tired of not being good enough for anyone or myself. I'm burnt out. I want to be done with it all. It's not even that I want to die really. I want it to stop. I want it all to stop and I can't find a way out.

I hate this. I hate feeling like no matter what the f*ck I do or how hard I try I'm just going to end up back here. it all seems so pointless. I don't know what I'm fighting for anymore.

At some point, I feel like my "resistance" is just foolishness. I can't give up because I'm a coward and I'm too stupid to know when to quit. It's all pointless. There's nothing left in me. I don't feel like there's any fight or drive left. I'm just... done.
What I do is embrace the hell out of those good feelings because I know they won't last.
 

Friday

Moderator
My ptsd started when I was around 18 and I'm 21 now, sadly I've always had depression/anxiety since I was very little so this cycle has been going on since I was like 11
17-40, here.

Sometimes things are hard.

Sometimes they’re amazing.

Luckily? I’m stubborn. Someday my luck may run out. That’s not a benefit. For anyone. Except, perhaps, my enemies
 
Top