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Too full treatment schedule?

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GiantSquid

Learning
How do you know it's time to drop something? Before my PTSD flared, I was a quitter. I stuck with a job maybe 6 - 8 months, then it became too much and I got a new one. Since I know I tend to pick a flight instead of a fight, I'm not certain if my reasoning is sound or just trauma pattern working out again.

I fear leaving the house and I'm afraid of people. I don't want any close relationships and I freak out easily when someone exhibits bipolar symptoms. (years of living with bipolar family members). I can't go out twice a day and if I have several active days in a row, I start to feel suicidal. Now my weekly schedule looks like this: Monday - online therapy - Tuesday: - Wednesday: Church and cleaning Thursday: - Friday: social group for mentally ill. On every other Sunday, I go to painting class.
I've been going to Friday group for two months now and I struggle with it a lot. The group has perhaps 40 people and watching them all for possible danger drives me mad. The structure is too loose for me and time (half a day) is quite a lot. I still don't enjoy it, and would like to drop it, but they offer free food and bus pass which helps me considerably because money is tight. I enjoy my Wednesdays, I volunteer to clean our Church with three other ladies. It's peaceful and they are very friendly. I'm not afraid of them.

My social worker has applied for more support and soon I will have a support worker to help me take care of chores around the house and also to support me going outside. So my schedule will have that on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I feel it's too much and I have noticed my mood is going dark again. But I feel like failing my treatment if I quit the social group. There is a strong expectation I should try to add more days for social group and I struggle with even one.
 
I’d ask my T, they should know you and your situation best.

Is the social group on a different day made up of different people? Maybe there’s a day with less people? Having a different group without dropping the group might help you decide if it’s something you need to drop altogether or just modify to better suit your needs.
 
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