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Total Loss of Safety - Therapist Terminated Therapy

Thread starter #1
I'm not sure where to begin. My therapist of 3 years terminated therapy suddenly without notice via text message 3 weeks ago. Aside of the ethics question here. This has left me with no sense of safety, not that it was intact before but lots better. I keep having flashbacks and can barely get myself to leave the house anymore.
I'm keep thinking what has gone wrong. I don't understand why she terminated out off the blue. She had mentioned that switching therapists might be a good idea but that we would talk about it the next session.
She knows abandonment is an issue and just decides to leave like she did.
Sorry if I'm rambling, I just feel so lost
 
#3
I'm not sure where to begin. My therapist of 3 years terminated therapy suddenly without notice via text message 3 weeks ago. Aside of the ethics question here. This has left me with no sense of safety, not that it was intact before but lots better. I keep having flashbacks and can barely get myself to leave the house anymore.
I'm keep thinking what has gone wrong. I don't understand why she terminated out off the blue. She had mentioned that switching therapists might be a good idea but that we would talk about it the next session.
She knows abandonment is an issue and just decides to leave like she did.
Sorry if I'm rambling, I just feel so lost
that's terrible that your therapist ended your sessions like that. I would feel angry and upset if someone did that to me. Can you file a complaint? It sounds like you need a new therapist as soon as possible. Sorry your having a rough time. 😊
 
#4
I think that was awful on her part! So sorry you are suffering like this, how awful for you.

The only logical thing that I can think of to explain it is she might have had something go really wrong in her life and had to quit, like if she needed to go into a mental ward herself or something like that. Even so, she should have recommended another therapist that you could see, or had her secretary do so.

I hope you can find another T soon. Please don't let yourself be without one. Call your Dr.' s office to get one rrecommeded to you, if need be.
 
#5
I'm so sorry. I'm trying to think how I would feel if that happened to me, and I think I would be spinning out of control.
It sounds like having an explanation might help to understand and come to terms with?
.I'm so sorry this has happened.

Do you think something has happened in her life which she is unable to communicate to make her stop therapy? (But in my opinion, she still owes you that explanation).
 
#6
Yikes! That is awful. I have had a few terrible therapy experiences including sudden termination via text. It hurts. The symptoms and flashbacks are your brain connecting this experience in the present to the past experiences of danger.

Right now, getting connected to the here and now will help slow down those symptoms and stabilize - which will help in navigating the next steps.

As much as you can, ground. Grab ice or other safe strong sensations to lessen the flashbacks. Consider challenging thoughts that the past is happening again. Chances are, there is much that is different.

All the good work you did with this therapist you’ll be able to bring with you. I know it’s not much reassurance right now, but this might be an opening into the next chapter of healing. Not an ending. A beginning into new growth.

A lot can go wrong for a therapist in their personal life that has nothing to do with a client. Maybe you’ll get an explanation down the road, maybe not. Hang on to what you do know: you are strong and courageous and your journey to heal has not ended. There is much reason for hope for the days ahead.
 
#7
I'm not sure where to begin. My therapist of 3 years terminated therapy suddenly without notice via text message 3 weeks ago. Aside of the ethics question here. This has left me with no sense of safety, not that it was intact before but lots better. I keep having flashbacks and can barely get myself to leave the house anymore.
I'm keep thinking what has gone wrong. I don't understand why she terminated out off the blue. She had mentioned that switching therapists might be a good idea but that we would talk about it the next session.
She knows abandonment is an issue and just decides to leave like she did.
Sorry if I'm rambling, I just feel so lost
I had a bad therapist who crossed some lines and was unprofessional.....therapists are supposed to be role models...there are good ones and not so good ones. What your therapist did was wrong....she should have given you several referrals and a tie up loose ends meeting, recount all your progress at the minimum........and she did it via text messaging? That totally unethical....

Abandonment, that feeling, hurts but remember she's a paid relationship, and not your family.... Based on what you said, you haven't done anything wrong and it is up to her to act professionally and end therapy appropriately. You were there 3 years...did she say you weren't making progress and needed another therapist for that reason?
 
Thread starter #8
Thanks for all the replies.

I actually think my main problem with the whole situation is that things don't quite add up. This is just so unlike her. Even in the last session in which did say it may be better if I change therapist because I wasn't making progress, and I mentioned that means that she's terminating the therapy, she specifically said, if she wanted to do so she would say it.

She is not normally someone who doesn't say what she thinks.

It's like I'm missing a piece of information. Things just don't add up.

Yes, she's a payed service but tell that to the internal children. (Possibly DID here, I have been given the diagnosis but I am not sure it fits all the way) They don't understand and I can't get them calmed down at least not for longer than a few hours.

And somethings I learned in therapy are actually hard to do because they remind me of her and actually send me back to one particular memory which then sends me into a flashback. I know that's kind of stupid, but that's the way it is.

I'm already looking for a new therapist. But everything in me says I don't want to open up to anybody else anymore, which I intellectually I know will hurt me in the long run.

I'm just so confused and feel so crazy. The last 3 years have been a wild ride.

This just isn't my life. I just want to go to work and finish school (ironically to become a psychotherapist).

**Almost forgot. Supposedly there will be one more session in September after her vacation. But I think she might not actually see me. Maybe she will but after what happened, I'm highly doubtful.
 
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#9
If this isn't like her and you feel you are missing a piece of the puzzle, then perhaps you are? It feels like something might have gone on in her personal life that she isn't able to share with you? She distinctly told you she won't terminate just like that, and then she did. Something, other than you, must have made her behave like that.
It sounds like adult you can know that and is trying to work it out, whilst little you's are panicking. All totally understandable.

Is there a way of asking her?
Do you feel able to email or text and ask for an explanation? It might really help to understand. The little you's still might not, but if adult you does then you can find a way of soothing the little ones.
 
Thread starter #10
The plan is to wait until after her vacation (until September 8th)and hopefully she will actually give me an appointment. But that's still such a long time.
I tried putting the whole thing in my vault but it just won't stay put.
 
#11
That is a long time to wait. Is that the agreement you reached with her when she text to terminate?

Sounds like you might have two options: wait until then and see what happens.
Or contact her now asking for an explanation and to set up that appointment post 8th sep?

I've just made a connection for me and my T about me being more in control and less passive. So I think I would be inclined to email her to take some control and to help work out what has happened.

If she does have something going on, she may not reply. But it might be worth seeing if you can get some resolution?

If not, it sounds unfair what she has done, and by text. Like others say, that is/could be unethical.
 
Thread starter #12
That is a long time to wait. Is that the agreement you reached with her when she text to terminate?

Sounds like you might have two options: wait until then and see what happens.
Or contact her now asking for an explanation and to set up that appointment post 8th sep?

I've just made a connection for me and my T about me being more in control and less passive. So I think I would be inclined to email her to take some control and to help work out what has happened.

If she does have something going on, she may not reply. But it might be worth seeing if you can get some resolution?

If not, it sounds unfair what she has done, and by text. Like others say, that is/could be unethical.
In her text she said we would talk about the alternatives as far as further treatment goes and what the alternatives are. In the phone call that ensued her text, because I did reply and she could see things were getting out of hand, she said we would talk about everything. But in the E-Mail that I received this past Monday, after I had written to her that I find the way she terminated at least suboptimal, there's no more mentioning of " talking about it" but of tying up loose ends.
 
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