I was in worship service this morning and the pastor asked, "What happens after the Lord's supper? Do we feel peace. Does life instantaniously become easy?"
Of course his question was retorical. I approached him following the service and told him about my battle with PTSD. He gently placed his hand on my shoulder and asked me if he could pray for me. I said yes. I do not remember what he prayed but I remember what the Lord placed upon my heart to share with my friends on this forum. It is as follows:
DSM-IV-TR / PTSD (Chronic Delayed) 309.81, is like having an infection that reoccures time and time again causing a big sore on the soul. The sore swells up with "flash bulb / sensory / and physical" memories of reoccuring trauma experienced with frequency-intensity-and duration either during childhood, adolescense, or sometimes even in past adulthood. However, if put in a perspective of spiritual strength it can become like "the Chicken Pox". Most people only have this childhood infection once even though the virus that causes it remains in the body lifelong. From a Spiritual perspective PTSD is like a big infected sore. I have come to realize in my spiritual walk with Christ that God is my lancet. God is the one who penetrates the sore and pierces it so that the infectious memories can bleed out. However, I have also come to realize that there is a spiritual entity that is against the grain of my healing. Satan wants to add more infectious lies to my PTSD sore in order to destroy me, make me feel insiginificant, inferior, foolish... God knows that the memories are infectious and can cause peritonitis, that is the purpose of flashbacks. But Satan knows we are weak when we are hurting so He will try to reimplant the lies that where sewed into the fabric of our being when we were traumatized. That is why Jesus is so important to me. He is with me all the time. I am not dead, I am alive! When I am hurdled up in a ball in the middle of my bed or the floor and I am weeping arduously, Jesus is the lancet for my infected sore. He is steril and only the truth rests in Him. As I am learning to utilize the strength of the Holy Spirit in my life, I am learning, through my willingness and the love God placed within me to humbly heal. It is a lifelong process, and sometimes I have to acquire my Holy Spirit antibiotic by crying and praying, but I am willing to continue this journey as I see the beauty of Gods creation in my husband and kids. If you are reading this and havn't read "Legend of the Small Green Viper" in the general chat forum, if you get a chance, read it. God has helped me many times with sweet and subdued words of loving encouragement.
Love All,
Marilyn
Of course his question was retorical. I approached him following the service and told him about my battle with PTSD. He gently placed his hand on my shoulder and asked me if he could pray for me. I said yes. I do not remember what he prayed but I remember what the Lord placed upon my heart to share with my friends on this forum. It is as follows:
DSM-IV-TR / PTSD (Chronic Delayed) 309.81, is like having an infection that reoccures time and time again causing a big sore on the soul. The sore swells up with "flash bulb / sensory / and physical" memories of reoccuring trauma experienced with frequency-intensity-and duration either during childhood, adolescense, or sometimes even in past adulthood. However, if put in a perspective of spiritual strength it can become like "the Chicken Pox". Most people only have this childhood infection once even though the virus that causes it remains in the body lifelong. From a Spiritual perspective PTSD is like a big infected sore. I have come to realize in my spiritual walk with Christ that God is my lancet. God is the one who penetrates the sore and pierces it so that the infectious memories can bleed out. However, I have also come to realize that there is a spiritual entity that is against the grain of my healing. Satan wants to add more infectious lies to my PTSD sore in order to destroy me, make me feel insiginificant, inferior, foolish... God knows that the memories are infectious and can cause peritonitis, that is the purpose of flashbacks. But Satan knows we are weak when we are hurting so He will try to reimplant the lies that where sewed into the fabric of our being when we were traumatized. That is why Jesus is so important to me. He is with me all the time. I am not dead, I am alive! When I am hurdled up in a ball in the middle of my bed or the floor and I am weeping arduously, Jesus is the lancet for my infected sore. He is steril and only the truth rests in Him. As I am learning to utilize the strength of the Holy Spirit in my life, I am learning, through my willingness and the love God placed within me to humbly heal. It is a lifelong process, and sometimes I have to acquire my Holy Spirit antibiotic by crying and praying, but I am willing to continue this journey as I see the beauty of Gods creation in my husband and kids. If you are reading this and havn't read "Legend of the Small Green Viper" in the general chat forum, if you get a chance, read it. God has helped me many times with sweet and subdued words of loving encouragement.
Love All,
Marilyn