Rose White
MyPTSD Pro
9 months with this therapist. Tried talking about transference in the beginning—she said it would go away on its own.
It kind of did, more like transformed—from erotic, to maternal, to friend—and never talking about it.
Finally told myself to stop avoiding it and brought it up—out of anger—I was mad that I had never dealt with it—I guess I had to get to anger to face it?
She seemed uncomfortable, but that was probably me projecting.
Then at the end of the session she says, “Two weeks instead of one?”
I was like, “What?! You’re weaning me?”
She said, “Because you were worried about the attachment, but if you’re not ready just say so.”
Got all worked up, said I wasn’t ready, made the appointment, and stormed out.
Never felt this way toward her. It was all love and puppies and butterflies before—it was about her comforting me and such.
Now I’m pissed! I’m trying so hard to get to the POINT of this whole thing, to FEEL what’s under it all, and it seems like she’s resisting it. I’m finally facing the transference and she says I’m too worried about the attachment?
I’m confused and angry. I have to say those things. She’s forcing me to express myself, to bring the anger in the room—very frightening because it has the potential to drive her away—I might say abusive things to her or myself—anger has the potential to end everything. And yet, it’s there.
I’m going in to therapy with a chip on my shoulder now. I now am a bit afraid of her—I should say that—and mostly feeling bitter toward her. I wish she could help me shift that bitterness to my dad, but it seems like we just sit on it. I think she wants me to shift some of it to my husband—I think she’s trying to get it to go there first.
Looking for support from anyone else who experienced a swing from positive transference to negative transference at some point in their therapy.
It kind of did, more like transformed—from erotic, to maternal, to friend—and never talking about it.
Finally told myself to stop avoiding it and brought it up—out of anger—I was mad that I had never dealt with it—I guess I had to get to anger to face it?
She seemed uncomfortable, but that was probably me projecting.
Then at the end of the session she says, “Two weeks instead of one?”
I was like, “What?! You’re weaning me?”
She said, “Because you were worried about the attachment, but if you’re not ready just say so.”
Got all worked up, said I wasn’t ready, made the appointment, and stormed out.
Never felt this way toward her. It was all love and puppies and butterflies before—it was about her comforting me and such.
Now I’m pissed! I’m trying so hard to get to the POINT of this whole thing, to FEEL what’s under it all, and it seems like she’s resisting it. I’m finally facing the transference and she says I’m too worried about the attachment?
I’m confused and angry. I have to say those things. She’s forcing me to express myself, to bring the anger in the room—very frightening because it has the potential to drive her away—I might say abusive things to her or myself—anger has the potential to end everything. And yet, it’s there.
I’m going in to therapy with a chip on my shoulder now. I now am a bit afraid of her—I should say that—and mostly feeling bitter toward her. I wish she could help me shift that bitterness to my dad, but it seems like we just sit on it. I think she wants me to shift some of it to my husband—I think she’s trying to get it to go there first.
Looking for support from anyone else who experienced a swing from positive transference to negative transference at some point in their therapy.