Sufferer Trauma Early In Life - New To PTSD & Could Really Use Some Support, Answers, & Understanding.

HumanNOS

Learning
I'm not really sure where to start or what all to say. Just sitting here writing this, I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I had trauma early in life. In my 20's my anxiety levels became so high I chose to seek help. And I did find it. I read everything I could. Talked to everyone I could. And I dealt with my childhood trauma, my anxiety -- but PTSD was never talked about or brought up. CBT was a Godsend and I learned to go on with a much better life and outlook. Have always continued with my therapy and wellness practices. And then...

About 2 years ago, I was diagnosed with PTSD. The diagnosis was made because something happened that retraumatized me. I honestly didn't give much credence to it. I'm not a soldier. I have never witnessed some mass catastrophe. And, like I said, no one had ever mentioned this before in any of my therapy. I just didn't really think a PTSD diagnosis was real to me. I have known vets with PTSD and I just couldn't even compare what I'd been through to what they had. But then about 6 weeks ago. I was "retraumatized" again. And it has knocked me down pretty hard.

Where once I felt strong, I now feel weak. All that I have learned and practiced for my mental health seems useless. I feel constantly afraid, vulnerable, anxious. I have a horrible time trying to make the simplest decisions. I am so easily triggered into anxiety and/or tears. I am overwhelmed so very easy. Going to sleep and waking up, YIKES! I've been having night terrors and spontaneous panic attacks. But the things that have always worked for me from therapy aren't working right now, which scares me more than anything else. Because I have done SO MUCH work on myself and my trauma. And this PTSD diagnosis feels suffocating and insurmountable.

I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm confused. But I can only handle so much at one time (hence the aforementioned vomiting feeling) because I'm so easily overwhelmed. It took a lot to say all that. I hope it makes sense to someone, because I really could use some support, answers and understanding.

I'm not for sure what else to say. But I made the first step by coming here and I am counting that as a win for today. I'd also like to just say that I do have a very wonderful therapist and psychiatrist. And although I may be letting out a lot of emotion, I don't want to frighten anyone, I am still kickin'. I am determined to find my way through.

Thanks for listening.
MJ
 

AngelkeeperJ

Sponsor
I'm sorry that you have been re-traumatized and are again needing to find new tools and strategies. I'm glad you found the Forum, there's a vast amount to learn here, about the ins and outs of surviving PTSD.

It's good that you already have a "team" working with you on your mental health, as it's vital to keep on fighting like it sounds like you always have.

I hope you are as blessed as I have been by the people here. Welcome!!!☮️
 

Rainman8772

MyPTSD Pro
Welcome.

Read the PTSD cup explanation it will help you understand some of it. Everyone’s experience is different but the end result is PTSD does not have to rule your life. Also check out the medication section, Prazosin works wonders for the nightmares. If you have questions there is a ton of experience here that can help you through the lows.
 

HumanNOS

Learning
Welcome.

Read the PTSD cup explanation it will help you understand some of it. Everyone’s experience is different but the end result is PTSD does not have to rule your life. Also check out the medication section, Prazosin works wonders for the nightmares. If you have questions there is a ton of experience here that can help you through the lows.

Can you tell me where to find/read the cup explanation? I’m afraid I’m not familiar. Thank you!
 

RoseyViolet

New Here
I'm so sorry for your PTSD diagnosis and resultant challenges both day and night. That's frustrating and scary. I understand how trauma can becoming seemingly insurmountable mountain to climb up... but there is hope. It sounds like you've worked really hard in the past and had successes, don't lose heart, it can be done again. Take one day at a time. Deep breath, find your happy place when you feel the anxiety beginning to come on.
I found great comfort and peace in prayer. If you're not a spiritual person, perhaps meditation, listening to calm soothing music could help. .Perhaps having a "trigger helper" that you identify in your life where that person is available whenever you feel your anxiety coming to a head that you can count on that individual to help you through your time of need. Journaling and reading my Bible has always given me great strength and peace. I pray you find your source of peace and strength in your journey.
 

HumanNOS

Learning
I'm so sorry for your PTSD diagnosis and resultant challenges both day and night. That's frustrating and scary. I understand how trauma can becoming seemingly insurmountable mountain to climb up... but there is hope. It sounds like you've worked really hard in the past and had successes, don't lose heart, it can be done again. Take one day at a time. Deep breath, find your happy place when you feel the anxiety beginning to come on.
I found great comfort and peace in prayer. If you're not a spiritual person, perhaps meditation, listening to calm soothing music could help. .Perhaps having a "trigger helper" that you identify in your life where that person is available whenever you feel your anxiety coming to a head that you can count on that individual to help you through your time of need. Journaling and reading my Bible has always given me great strength and peace. I pray you find your source of peace and strength in your journey.

Thank you so much. Just from posting this yesterday, I slept different/better last night and I felt better this morning when I got up. I think it's gonna be baby steps and small degrees of change, but just knowing now that I'm not alone makes so much of a difference.
 

Freida

Sponsor
Welcome!
I think you will find that a lot of us have that "holy crap I have what?" response to a diagnosis of ptsd that comes long after the actual event that caused it. I yelled at my T when she said that's what I had! :laugh:

The good news is that there have been some huge advancements in treating it in the last 10 years, and you have lots of people here who get what you are going thru :)
 

HumanNOS

Learning
Welcome!
I think you will find that a lot of us have that "holy crap I have what?" response to a diagnosis of ptsd that comes long after the actual event that caused it. I yelled at my T when she said that's what I had! :laugh:

The good news is that there have been some huge advancements in treating it in the last 10 years, and you have lots of people here who get what you are going thru :)

That is EXACTLY the response! You summed it up so much better. LOL Thank you
 

DharmaGirl

MyPTSD Pro
I had early childhood trauma, and it continued past adulthood. I functioned well within society until I was 52. I had a complete breakdown and I had to learn to function all over again. It wasn't easy but I'm in a good place now. It sounds like you did a lot of work already, so you sort of know what to expect. I'm glad you're here, sharing your journey and I wish you the best of luck.
 
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