So I saw my T yesterday. I was all set to resume Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART). I was going to go gung ho on my first trauma. No more dallying around. A couple hours before my appt. I thought about that and thought about how I would rewrite that assault, then I got really nauseous and dizzy. So I started drinking a selzer water and laid down. My appt. rolled around and I still felt like shit, but I took my selzer water and went.
Of course she asked me how I was and I told her. She said if I wasn't ready to do it today, it was okay. So we ended up talking more about the process of ART and what I might expect to experience. Bottom line, she told me everything she knew, but with the caveat that there's really no way to prepare yourself totally for it. It just happens. It's a technique that intervenes with your central nervous system and, well, there you go.
My T also has PTSD, though you would never know it if she didn't tell you. When she went to her training for this, the inventor of this technique did it on her and she has since had it done on her at least once more. And she raves about it. She says that now she can talk about her trauma without all the old awful emotions. As we were talking about the process, she let me in on her trauma, and omg, it is harrowing. Luckily for her, she had a pretty normal healthy upbringing. But she had a client with BPD and NPD for three years who ended up stalking her, seducing her husband, getting some of her colleagues at her former clinic against her (they all broke ethical guidelines by going out and partying with this client, God only knows why), making wild accusations against her -- it sounded like Fatal Attraction times 100, only no dead bunny, thankfully. But this client, through her affair with T's then-husband, stole a bunch of money from her inheritance. (N.B. Small town -- everyone there knew that my T. inherited a ton of money from the family farm when her mother passed away, so T. is convinced this client had planned all this once that happened, and I don't think that's unreasonable.) Then my T had to spend a ton of money on a lawyer defending herself to keep her licenses to practice after the client made wild accusations about her. I don't believe my T intended to tell me this much, but we had a two-hour block of time, I had decided against ART for today, and I was so horribly fascinated by her story, I kind of egged her on, and at least now I know why in her ART sessions her rewrite involved bulldozing some people over, like, literally with a bulldozer. There is more she told me, and more she didn't tell me and only hinted at, but, you can't make this stuff up. We agreed her story could take up at least 2 two-hour episodes of "48 Hours."
Cripes. She said the whole thing went on for about a year and a half, beginning when this client first started mimicking her. My T got her nose pierced. The next week the client came in with her nose pierced. Then the client came in with the same haircut as my T. Then my T noticed this client stalking her. Just unbelievable. And my T said when she tried to start a lawsuit against that clinic she used to work for, they retaliated. I didn't ask her for details. I really don't want to know any more than I already do. My gut feeling is still that I need to try this technique, I like her, I trust that she knows what she is doing professionally, and she is learning a lot from her practice since we last talked about this. She is convinced this will help not only my PTSD but my fibro. So, what do I have to lose?
Of course she asked me how I was and I told her. She said if I wasn't ready to do it today, it was okay. So we ended up talking more about the process of ART and what I might expect to experience. Bottom line, she told me everything she knew, but with the caveat that there's really no way to prepare yourself totally for it. It just happens. It's a technique that intervenes with your central nervous system and, well, there you go.
My T also has PTSD, though you would never know it if she didn't tell you. When she went to her training for this, the inventor of this technique did it on her and she has since had it done on her at least once more. And she raves about it. She says that now she can talk about her trauma without all the old awful emotions. As we were talking about the process, she let me in on her trauma, and omg, it is harrowing. Luckily for her, she had a pretty normal healthy upbringing. But she had a client with BPD and NPD for three years who ended up stalking her, seducing her husband, getting some of her colleagues at her former clinic against her (they all broke ethical guidelines by going out and partying with this client, God only knows why), making wild accusations against her -- it sounded like Fatal Attraction times 100, only no dead bunny, thankfully. But this client, through her affair with T's then-husband, stole a bunch of money from her inheritance. (N.B. Small town -- everyone there knew that my T. inherited a ton of money from the family farm when her mother passed away, so T. is convinced this client had planned all this once that happened, and I don't think that's unreasonable.) Then my T had to spend a ton of money on a lawyer defending herself to keep her licenses to practice after the client made wild accusations about her. I don't believe my T intended to tell me this much, but we had a two-hour block of time, I had decided against ART for today, and I was so horribly fascinated by her story, I kind of egged her on, and at least now I know why in her ART sessions her rewrite involved bulldozing some people over, like, literally with a bulldozer. There is more she told me, and more she didn't tell me and only hinted at, but, you can't make this stuff up. We agreed her story could take up at least 2 two-hour episodes of "48 Hours."
Cripes. She said the whole thing went on for about a year and a half, beginning when this client first started mimicking her. My T got her nose pierced. The next week the client came in with her nose pierced. Then the client came in with the same haircut as my T. Then my T noticed this client stalking her. Just unbelievable. And my T said when she tried to start a lawsuit against that clinic she used to work for, they retaliated. I didn't ask her for details. I really don't want to know any more than I already do. My gut feeling is still that I need to try this technique, I like her, I trust that she knows what she is doing professionally, and she is learning a lot from her practice since we last talked about this. She is convinced this will help not only my PTSD but my fibro. So, what do I have to lose?