Trauma therapy and couples therapy at the same time

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
My partner suggested couples therapy. I'm up for it and am going to ask my T's advice about how to manage both my therapy and couples therapy at the same time.

How have you managed it?

I'm worried about it being "too much therapy" or not knowing how to manage both types.
 
Thanks for the tag @joeylittle! I do have experience with this.
I'm worried about it being "too much therapy" or not knowing how to manage both types.
First of all it's great that your partner suggested it and that you want to do it - that means you're both invested in improving your relationship. Couples therapy can really teach you how to communicate better.

So these are two totally different types of therapy that you're doing for two different reasons. At first I thought that it was really important to address my trauma in couples therapy, but I think I was totally wrong. If your trauma is causing issues in your relationship, it's important to give your partner space for them to talk about their own feelings and reactions around your trauma. But the only place your should be working on your trauma is in trauma therapy. Couples therapy is for issues between you and your partner only.

That's why I don't think you'll find having both couples and trauma therapies to be too much as long as you are able to separate them. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't able to because I was too dysregulated at the time. I'd like to have the opportunity to try again some day.
 

Movingforward10

MyPTSD Pro
Thanks @somerandomguy , that makes sense.


We've just both been through so much this year. Her with both her parents dying within weeks of each other during the lockdown. And me with starting this trauma therapy in Jan and then my sister's husband committing suicide a few weeks ago (which has heightened all my dsyfunctional family issues even more intensely).
We're both struggling with our own things, and not connecting at all.
My trauma does come in to it. Because whilst it is me wanting to have sex and she doesn't, I'm also scared how I will respond to sex now as I haven't had sex since I unearthed some things. So it's knowing how much to bring up in either type of session? Because it seems like there is overlap?

We are both invested in this. And I hope that sees us through.
 
You absolutely should bring up your trauma and the ways it prevents you from connecting with your partner. It's an important component of your relationship. Just don't try to work on it in couples therapy.
 
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