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Traumatic disbelief

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StarAnise

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Is it just me who suffers with this?

For instance, after a flashback, I usually experience disbelief or 'sense of comic disbelief'.

I think it's the 'life and death' sensation. It's hard to believe that either I'm alive or that everyone else is (or something...) It just seems strange to be around people being 'normal', doing normal things and in normal ways and after the stress I end up looking at everyone thinking they're absolutely ridiculous or otherwise just strange for all of them 'being all normal'. (How dare they!)

Basically, it's like being sober with a bunch of dancing drunks.

Does that make any sense to anyone here at all? Or is it just me?

I'm probably explaining it totally wrong so take this with a pinch of salt if it doesn't ring true for you. It'll be me simply giving the wrong description.
 
Yeah, I get it! Trauma brain is just ridiculous. Most of the time alone I think that I'm mad but when I'm around other people it feels like I'm in a moment of clarity and everyone else is just BONKERS!!!

I'm in a state of complete dis-belief at my own trauma world and the things I've experienced and survived. 😬
 
I'm so glad it's not just me!!!!!

Yes, the 'Gosh this is awful' when alone for the 'What is wrong with you!' when around others does my head in! I almost want to laugh but there's nobody who 'gets it' so then it would just seem bonkers to them... Which then makes me sad! 'What is wrong with these people! They're having a blindly normal day and they've no idea!' For an 'Is it nice having a normal day? Are you awake? Or am I asleep?'! It's like being from or on another planet!
 
It's about finding people that are your "Our" kind of crazy. I can pretend to be normal but it takes alot of effort and energy. Luckily I'm a good actor.
 
Be my kind of crazy then! Glad I’m here… They’re all having normal days out there. What crazy! ‘Daily routine, unthinking routine for dinner later, what am I having for dinner?’ That is what I imagine the thoughts of the non-PTSD world of people are when they pass me.
 
just about all my psych symptoms can sling me to alternate realities. even when i catch it early enough to prevent collateral damage in this reality, it still takes me a while to transition back to this reality. i lean heavily on breathing and tactile grounding until i complete the transition. "unthinking things" like what to have for dinner help considerable with moving on from the unsavory experience.
 
I know what you mean by the sense of an ‘alternate reality shift’. Doing something normal (like thinking about dinner) makes sense, too!

I find that I need to occupy my mind with something else after the grounding, so that I have a sense that is more in touch with everyone else. Except I don’t know what they’re all thinking about and I’ve run out of my own topics to think about instead! I can’t cook so I don’t know how to think about dinner... My husband did that thinking and doing for me (I was lucky like that) and I also used to just ring him if I needed to know what someone else was thinking about instead of what I’d been thinking about… (He has passed away and coping with PTSD symptoms for the first time without him is difficult).

With planning food, it’s actually quite hard when I’m starting from scratch, myself. I just have no idea. I don’t have the attention for Google and searching through stuff at the time so food planning is a massive effort. I end up with what I want that he made that I can’t think of the shopping list for. So I just don’t know what to do to ‘shift my brain forward’ at these times.

On a lighter note, a PTSD Reverse Helpline for PTSD sufferers to ring strangers with when they want to just to find out their thoughts at that point in time would be good!
 
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