I imagine standing up for myself against a bully/an abuser, or sharing my opinion with someone, I immediately see another person accusing me back or criticizing my opinion.
I do have a very critical father, and over the past 4 years have been accused back when I tried to stand for myself against 3 narcissists.
Whenever I see a conflict in real life, I get triggered heavily, and I start victimizing myself.
e.g. I witness 2 men having a verbal spat on the street, I start feeling crazy, and start imagining how I would handle that. Just 2 days back I was watching a video of a cop arresting a criminal and I started imagining myself getting arrested.
I grew up in a family and in a neighborhood where there had been lots of verbal and physical abuse and conflict. Though, I personally faced very little, I was witness to many incidents.
I was also victimised by my elder siblings and my parents for their problems and stress. They tried to shame and blame me when they got into trouble.
I do have a very critical father, and over the past 4 years have been accused back when I tried to stand for myself against 3 narcissists.
Whenever I see a conflict in real life, I get triggered heavily, and I start victimizing myself.
e.g. I witness 2 men having a verbal spat on the street, I start feeling crazy, and start imagining how I would handle that. Just 2 days back I was watching a video of a cop arresting a criminal and I started imagining myself getting arrested.
I grew up in a family and in a neighborhood where there had been lots of verbal and physical abuse and conflict. Though, I personally faced very little, I was witness to many incidents.
I was also victimised by my elder siblings and my parents for their problems and stress. They tried to shame and blame me when they got into trouble.