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Sexual Assault Triggers are overwhelming

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The anniversary of one of the most painful sexual assaults is near. The guy that assaulted me is in prison for murder but that does not help me. I am trying to ignore the flashbacks and nightmares but I am failing. I keep telling myself that it is over and he can't get to me and things he told me were not true. The memories are so strong right now. I feel like no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get past it. My therapist pointed out that I have 30 years of abuse to work through. It started with molestation for several years and I was in abusive relationships up until about a year ago. I have made some progress but times like this are so hard.
 
Those anniversaries can be really hard. Sounds like you are really working and using skills to make it through. Is there anything that comforts you? I know that we all here it a lot, but self care is vital. Thoughts and prayers during this rough time. You are not alone.
 
I feel like no matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get past it.
My therapist pointed out that I have 30 years of abuse to work through. It started with molestation for several years and I was in abusive relationships up until about a year ago. I have made some progress but times like this are so hard.

Very much what your therapist said. It's going to take some time. You're not wrong for having symptoms. You have symptoms because you have PTSD.

You have PTSD. That means trauma isn't something you just get past. That's something that has to be worked through. Traumas processed, coping mechanisms learned & unlearned, triggers blunted, stressors managed, symptoms lessened, a whole lot of stuff.

I get sick and tired of dealing with this bullshit, too. Want to be done with it yesterday. But it does take time. Doesn't mean I'm not working hard to change things, and doesn't mean it will always be this hard, just because things aren't changed, yet.
 
Beloved Copper I make jewelry (necklaces, earrings, bracelets), and I crochet w/cotton to make shawls and scarves, etc., I also work sudoku puzzles, and these require my undivided attention because I have to fully into these activities or mess up. Do you have any hobbies, or craft projects i.e. learning calligraphy, drawing, etc. that you are interested in e.x. painting, sculpting, pottery, sewing, taking piano I am just naming a few of many varied things you may want to only consider to try and help you to keep you from thinking about anniversary/assault. (((hugs)))! Jade.
 
Beloved Copper I make jewelry (necklaces, earrings, bracelets), and I crochet w/cotton to make shawl...
Thank you @JadesJewel . I do make jewelry every now and then. I am not a crafty person at all. I struggle with staying focused on it because I am not very good. I don't draw but I am good at coloring. I have an aunt that has invested a lot in markers and colored pencils for me. I use them a lot. I also write a lot, lately it hasn't been very pleasant reading. (((Hugs))) I hope you are ok. If you need me I am here.
 
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