Triggers Related To Death

[Jade-]

It's weird how talking about all of this is actually helping instead of making me feel worse like I thought it would.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

It's weird how talking about all of this is actually helping instead of making me feel worse like I thought it would.

@Jade-, it's not uncommon to feel hesitant or worried about discussing difficult emotions or experiences, but it's great to hear that talking about your feelings is helping you. Speaking openly and honestly about your emotions can be a powerful way to process and cope with them.

Sometimes, bottling up our emotions only makes them feel more overwhelming and difficult to manage. By sharing your feelings with others, you can gain new perspectives and insights and start to feel more connected and supported.

It takes courage to open up and share personal thoughts and feelings, and I commend you for doing so. Please know that you can always return to this forum or seek additional support whenever you need it.

 

[Jade-]

It's been extremely hard having so many bottled up emotions and I can see now that they have been leaking out in destructive and unhealthy ways.

I am so tired of people telling me how strong I am,I hate hearing it because I definitely am not. If they only knew how much I have been struggling internally and just sparing them by not telling them what I have been going through.I am so tired of hearing "I could never do it". They don't realize you don't have a choice but to "do it",what other option is there besides getting up each morning and putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on the best you can.

I am so tired of the other end of it,the people that tell me how I should grieve and how long I should. Someone recently told me "it's been over a year,it's time to get over it".The same person also told me I am grieving wrong. I am tired of people that have never experienced losing a child trying to tell me how I should think and feel. Or telling me they understand what I am going through because they lost a f*cking pet recently.,

I am tired of being told I have other kids or my son is in a better place,I shouldn't dwell on it. Things happen for a reason and any other cliche'.

I am tired of people being afraid of talking about him because they're afraid they may upset me. But what upsets me is them not talking about him.He is still just as much a part of my life as he was when he was still alive. I want to hear his name, I want him remembered. I want to hear stories about him and things that make me smile or laugh. But people are afraid if they talk about him it will make me remember that he's gone. I haven't forgot and I never will so I don't understand that logic.

I lost my son,and in a very tragic way. It's a huge deal. And I am so tired of having to worry about OTHER people's feelings about it. I shouldn't worry about THEM being uncomfortable if I try to talk about him. I am just so very very tired of having all of these different thoughts and feelings inside of me and carrying them around like a ton of bricks strapped around my heart.

So I appreciate being able to talk about it with you knowing I won't be judged or make you uncomfortable or any other human thing

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

It's been extremely hard having so many bottled up emotions and I can see now that they have been leaking out in destructive and unhealthy ways.

I am so tired of people telling me how strong I am,I hate hearing it because I definitely am not. If they only knew how much I have been struggling internally and just sparing them by not telling them what I have been going through.I am so tired of hearing "I could never do it". They don't realize you don't have a choice but to "do it",what other option is there besides getting up each morning and putting one foot in front of the other and carrying on the best you can.

I am so tired of the other end of it,the people that tell me how I should grieve and how long I should. Someone recently told me "it's been over a year,it's time to get over it".The same person also told me I am grieving wrong. I am tired of people that have never experienced losing a child trying to tell me how I should think and feel. Or telling me they understand what I am going through because they lost a f*cking pet recently.,

I am tired of being told I have other kids or my son is in a better place,I shouldn't dwell on it. Things happen for a reason and any other cliche'.

I am tired of people being afraid of talking about him because they're afraid they may upset me. But what upsets me is them not talking about him.He is still just as much a part of my life as he was when he was still alive. I want to hear his name, I want him remembered. I want to hear stories about him and things that make me smile or laugh. But people are afraid if they talk about him it will make me remember that he's gone. I haven't forgot and I never will so I don't understand that logic.

I lost my son,and in a very tragic way. It's a huge deal. And I am so tired of having to worry about OTHER people's feelings about it. I shouldn't worry about THEM being uncomfortable if I try to talk about him. I am just so very very tired of having all of these different thoughts and feelings inside of me and carrying them around like a ton of bricks strapped around my heart.

So I appreciate being able to talk about it with you knowing I won't be judged or make you uncomfortable or any other human thing

@Jade-, it's understandable that dealing with so many bottled up emotions is exhausting and overwhelming. It's important to remember that grief is a unique and individual experience - there is no "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, and the process can be messy and complicated.

It can be frustrating and hurtful when others minimize or try to dictate your grief experience. Know that their comments are a reflection of their own limited understanding and not a reflection of your experience or relationship with your son.

It's important to honor and remember your son in a way that feels authentic and true to you. You have every right to talk about him, share stories, and remember him in your own way. It's important to surround yourself with people who are supportive and understanding of your grief journey.

Opening up and sharing your feelings may feel vulnerable, but it can also be a powerful way to connect with others who have experienced similar loss and to process your emotions. You have every right to speak your truth and to seek out support and validation.

Please know that you are not alone, and that there are people and resources available to support you. It takes immense strength to carry the weight of grief, and it's okay to seek out help and support as you navigate this difficult process.

 

[Jade-]

My son had a substance abuse disorder and that's what he ended up dying from sadly. Since his passing I have been wanting to find a way to help others in some way,in honor of him.

Maybe that's what I need to focus on,doing something. I need a purpose again, I need to be doing something that makes me feel good about myself again. All of this wallowing isn't helping at all and is only hurting me more than anything else.

I miss him so much and it's so hard living without him but maybe if I actively start doing something instead of just wanting to or saying I will, it will help me.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

My son had a substance abuse disorder and that's what he ended up dying from sadly. Since his passing I have been wanting to find a way to help others in some way,in honor of him.

Maybe that's what I need to focus on,doing something. I need a purpose again, I need to be doing something that makes me feel good about myself again. All of this wallowing isn't helping at all and is only hurting me more than anything else.

I miss him so much and it's so hard living without him but maybe if I actively start doing something instead of just wanting to or saying I will, it will help me.

@Jade-, it's understandable to want to find a way to honor your son and create a positive impact in his memory. Many individuals have found that advocacy and community outreach can be a powerful way to cope with grief and loss.

Volunteering or donating to a substance abuse recovery center, advocate for addiction treatment access or support groups, or fundraising for substance abuse research or treatment can be ways to channel your grief energy into a positive cause that aligns with your values.

It's important to remember that healing from grief is not a linear process and there may be times when you feel like you are "wallowing." Be kind and gentle with yourself during these times, and remember that it's okay to take breaks and prioritize self-care.

By actively engaging in a purposeful activity that aligns with your values, you may find that you are able to regain a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Not only will you be making a positive impact, but you may also find a supportive community of individuals who share your passion and experiences.

I encourage you to explore your options and find an activity or cause that feels authentic and meaningful to you. And remember that it's okay to start small - every action, no matter how small, can make a positive difference.

 

[Jade-]

After I have been triggered by something I start spiraling down into the depths of hell it seems(and feels). And then I slowly start feeling a little bit of hope again and start pulling myself back up.

I visited his grave within the past hour and although it was sad, it also gave me a little bit of hope again because I started thinking about wanting to do something in his honor. It's like I forget about wanting to do that when I am struggling.

I hate this roller coaster of emotions. I know it's common while grieving and also common with PTSD. It just gets so exhausting. I guess I should pat myself on the back once in awhile though. I have PTSD from my childhood, and now this new trauma on top of it too, maybe I need to cut myself some slack at times instead of always trying to force immediate change. and then getting upset with myself when I don't achieve it.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

After I have been triggered by something I start spiraling down into the depths of hell it seems(and feels). And then I slowly start feeling a little bit of hope again and start pulling myself back up.

I visited his grave within the past hour and although it was sad, it also gave me a little bit of hope again because I started thinking about wanting to do something in his honor. It's like I forget about wanting to do that when I am struggling.

I hate this roller coaster of emotions. I know it's common while grieving and also common with PTSD. It just gets so exhausting. I guess I should pat myself on the back once in awhile though. I have PTSD from my childhood, and now this new trauma on top of it too, maybe I need to cut myself some slack at times instead of always trying to force immediate change. and then getting upset with myself when I don't achieve it.

@Jade-, it's understandable that being triggered can be overwhelming and that the roller coaster of emotions can feel exhausting. It's important to remember that healing is not a linear process, and that there will be ups and downs as you navigate grief and trauma.

It's great that visiting your son's grave was able to give you a renewed sense of hope and purpose. It's important to remember that these moments of hope can be powerful tools to help lift you out of the darker times. When you're feeling triggered or overwhelmed, remember that it's okay to take a step back and focus on self-care.

It's important to give yourself grace and compassion during these difficult times. Healing from trauma and grief is a gradual and sometimes painful process, and it's okay to take things at your own pace. Remember that every small step counts, and that acknowledging your progress and giving yourself credit for your strength can be helpful tools to encourage feelings of hope and positivity.

Keep in mind that self-care is a vital and ongoing practice. Finding ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine can help manage stress and improve your overall well-being. It's wonderful that you are taking steps to heal and find a sense of purpose, and I encourage you to continue exploring ways to take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally.

If you ever need further support, don't hesitate to reach out. You are not alone, and there are people and resources available to help you through this difficult process.

 

[Jade-]

You mention self care often. Besides the basics like adequate sleep,nutrition and hydration, what are other things that are considered self care?

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

You mention self care often. Besides the basics like adequate sleep,nutrition and hydration, what are other things that are considered self care?

@Jade-, there are many different forms of self-care that can help improve your mental and emotional well-being, and everyone's needs will be different. Here are some additional self-care practices that you may find helpful:

1. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness is the practice of being present and fully engaged in the current moment. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindful movement practices like yoga, can be great tools to help reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

2. Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can be a great way to process and reflect on your experiences. Journaling can also be an opportunity to set goals or make plans for the future.

3. Social support: Spending time with loved ones or seeking support from a therapist or support group can be an important part of self-care. Talking about your feelings with supportive individuals can help reduce feelings of isolation and improve your mood.

4. Hobbies: Engaging in activities that bring you joy can be a great way to practice self-care. Whether it's reading, painting, or playing a sport, finding time for hobbies can help improve your mood and provide a healthy outlet for stress.

5. Nature: Spending time in nature can have a calming effect on the mind and help reduce stress. Try going for a walk in the park, hiking, or gardening.

Remember that self-care is a personal practice and it's important to find what works best for you. If you need help developing a self-care plan or finding new ways to take care of yourself, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional for guidance.

 

[Jade-]

I haven't really been doing anything since losing my son. It has felt like being paralyzed or frozen in time or something.

I know I HAVE to start living again and I know I need to do whatever it takes in order to be able to. I think I need to make a list of all the things I need and want to do and take baby steps instead of trying to force everything at once.

I think the very first thing I need to do is to reach out to some of those supportive people that I have already talked about here that I said I cut out of my life. I need to stop isolating all the time.

 

[Dr. Catalyst]

I haven't really been doing anything since losing my son. It has felt like being paralyzed or frozen in time or something.

I know I HAVE to start living again and I know I need to do whatever it takes in order to be able to. I think I need to make a list of all the things I need and want to do and take baby steps instead of trying to force everything at once.

I think the very first thing I need to do is to reach out to some of those supportive people that I have already talked about here that I said I cut out of my life. I need to stop isolating all the time.

@Jade-, it's completely understandable that losing your son has left you feeling paralyzed and frozen. It's important to take things at your own pace and not force yourself to do too much too soon.

Making a list of the things you need and want to do and taking baby steps is a great idea. Remember that even small steps can make a big difference. You could start by setting a goal to do one thing each day that is outside of your normal routine, such as taking a short walk, cooking a meal, or reaching out to a friend.

Reaching out to supportive people is also an important part of self-care. It's great that you recognize the importance of reconnecting with those whom you've cut out of your life. Your loved ones may be able to provide you with a listening ear, emotional support, and encouragement as you take these steps forward.

Remember that healing and recovery takes time, and it's okay to take things slowly. Be kind and patient with yourself as you continue on this journey. If you find yourself struggling or feeling overwhelmed, don't hesitate to seek support from a therapist or support group. They can help you develop coping strategies and provide additional support as you move forward.

You're taking important steps towards self-care and healing, and I encourage you to continue on this path.