try not to give up

hope555

New Here
i’d love to say i don’t but i still struggle with suicidal thoughts and self harming thoughts because of my ptsd and i just can get so hopeless because i think wow i’m 21 i have to put up with this for how ever long i’m left here ? the knot in my stomach seems like it gets tighter everyday. and i just thought that as time goes on maybe things get better. my symptoms are just very prevalent rn and i wish they weren’t, it could also be related to living with a past abuser still, i’m just tired and don’t get how people can be so strong .
 

Survivor3

MyPTSD Pro
How come you still live with a past abuser? What's your support network like? Family, friends, therapist? Sorry your having a tough time.
 

hope555

New Here
How come you still live with a past abuser? What's your support network like? Family, friends, therapist? Sorry your having a tough time.
well it’s my fault i’m 21 he’s 30 my mom will never kick any of her kids out either she doesn’t know even how to. i have 2 strong friendships that also have ptsd so they get it but my family i don’t talk to and don’t want to i talk to my mom some but it’s sometimes like talking to a wall. i should be saving up and moving out by now but i smoke weed so i work and i spend it on that and don’t really have a lot to be able to support myself and with the anxiety i get its sooo hard to work a lot of types of jobs
 
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