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Trying to decide if I should fire my therapist

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HealingMama

MyPTSD Pro
She has the right training but is often tired by the time we meet. I think she can't remember that I'm also a therapist so she wastes time explaining things I already know. I often feel that maybe 10% of the session is helping me but it's still fairly early in the relationship so I don't know if my expectations are too high.

I can't decide if I'm genuinely not getting the value for the money (self pay over $100 an hour) or I'm sabotaging or playing out my attachment issues.
 
It might be worth wasting a session to tell her that you're thinking of firing her and why to see how she reacts.
I told her last time finances are tight and I might need to take a break. She said nothing until the very end of the session and didn't explore it at all really. I didn't tell her the rest of this just framed it as financial. I guess I could include the rest but then it's like I just feel really high maintenance. ?
 
I have a similar dilemma...little parts of me don't get why we need to switch T's.....protective parts say ditch her - and the part that realizes that making a trusting relationship doesn't happen over night and I'd have to tell my story ALL over again.....is reticent to make a T change. I decided to give it a go.....and look around.....without expectations......

I went armed with lots of questions written down because I treated it this go-round like an interview for a job and I'm paying the salary (and many will do a 30 min. interview w/o cost). I wrote down some answers too. I went to see if the grass was greener or at least different and there was someone who was knowledgeable about trauma who had motivation, experience, and willingness to work with dissociative folks like me. After 20 min. T interviewee failed......and I used the word parts therapy and you'd thought I said demon....that woman said she was ignorant about disociative disorders and lacked training in her 38 years of being a counselor Decision: Leave and don't look back.... she's a loser.

Saw another T shortly after....more in line with my personal beliefs, could talk parts and dissociative disorder and said she enjoys working in the trauma field .............so, she gets a short-term trial run......and that's what I said....and she respected that. The "trial T" believes that improving connection to my spirituality beliefs can help healing truama....(spirituality not religion). I am aligned with this so maybe this could work but it is unsettling to be between

So maybe look around like you are doing a job interview, I found it to be more powerful that way than finding one in a crisis (sooo needy feeling to hire a T that way). Good luck!
 
As someone who changed 3 therapists in successively, this what I learned. After I made a decision, I realized the bone they were chewing on was what I was not understanding about my need to dump them. And by that I mean I had to integrate some serious parts or kept going blindly until I understood much later.
I could be wrong and you did not provide much context but my feeling is this therapist is scratching your narcissistic side.
I am making this comment because you think she forgot you are therapist. She is not because your therapy side is not coming to therapy. There is another side of you that is obviously blind to your training or resistent and she is dealing with that and you are not keen about this when you are out of therapy. This is how trauma keeps us in a bind. Unless you have concrete reasons, I would say maybe even share this little bit and see how your body reacts to her response.
IMHO and this is a lesson I learned recently. The point is not to find perfect therapy (that is akin to finding perfect partner... No such a thing) but to find a person who does not 100%identify or very much close to the person who hurt you. And you cannt know that until you get to know the therapist.... If you pay attention to your feelings, even a bad therapist (not unethical one) can teach you few things about your strengths and self including to know when to change and sever an important relationship because it is fundamentally broken.
 
She may very well remember you are a therapist but is wisely not making assumptions what your education covered. I’ve been to therapists who understood some basics of a co-morbid disorder that I have, and others who had no clue how that disorder worked.

I hope you tell her that you need less time on psych education before you quit. It is a good place to practice communicating what you need and helps her to help you better.
 
Yeah the least I could do is tell her we are spending too much time on psychoed.

I think part of the problem may also be that my previous session was hypnotherapy where she was practically yelling at me to amplify the negative emotion tied to memories so I don't really feel all that safe with her anymore.
 
The therapist may be spending time on psychoed because while you may know it intellectually, you may not know it at a deep emotional level and be able to incorporate it into your daily coping.

On the medical side of the house, I sometimes see patients that are also clinicians and they often need information or recommendations reinforced even though they "know" it. I feel the same way when I am the patient. Heal thyself is BS. Sometimes, we need the engagement of another caring competent human being in order to take medication, change our diet or change our coping mechanisms. Clinging to your professional identity in therapy sounds like a defense against vulnerability or fear of judgement.

I don't have any experience with hypnotherapy in the treatment of PTSD so I'm not sure if that was appropriate or not. Is your T a trauma therapist?
 
The therapist may be spending time on psychoed because while you may know it intellectually, you may not know it at a deep emotional level and be able to incorporate it into your daily coping.

On the medical side of the house, I sometimes see patients that are also clinicians and they often need information or recommendations reinforced even though they "know" it. I feel the same way when I am the patient. Heal thyself is BS. Sometimes, we need the engagement of another caring competent human being in order to take medication, change our diet or change our coping mechanisms. Clinging to your professional identity in therapy sounds like a defense against vulnerability or fear of judgement.

I don't have any experience with hypnotherapy in the treatment of PTSD so I'm not sure if that was appropriate or not. Is your T a trauma therapist?
Yes she's a trauma therapist that works with dissociation also.

I came to her for EMDR, and we haven't done any reprocessing yet. I told her in the beginning that I often rush the process but I wish we were spending time on idk attachment stuff or something.

You may be right that I am trying to hide behind my professional identity. I feel like I'm trying to go ahead and get to the experiential and practical elements of the work rather than the theory. I know window of tolerance, structural dissociation, etc, but I need to get some healing into my emotional parts.
 
Hi Healingmama
Before you change her, see if you can bring up the attachment issue. Remember she cannt read your mind. She does not have attachment issues and if she did it is not her place to bring them. You bring the issues not her. And finally, you have to be super aware your projection. You focusing on her is transference. The frustration or the fear you have is bodyymemoreis acting out out of therapy.
Switch your POV and try to see yourself rather than her in your thoughts.
 
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