So about two years ago when I was 11, I went camping with my grandparents and my younger cousins in the summer, and because there were a lot of us, we all had to share a two person tent and a small caravan. My grandfather was in the tent, and we went on a 'rotation' of who was to sleep in the the tent, and who in the caravan. My body had started to develop and I wasn't really a child anymore, in the way I acted or looked. I went first for one night in the tent, and when I was trying to get to sleep, my grandfather began giving me a massage (I know this sounds strange, but that was 'normal' in our family - he's not an old and frail grandfather with white hair and all) but it went too far, and soon his hands were in my pants. I said to stop, that I didn't like it down there, and he moved his hands up, but soon his hands were getting closer to my breasts, and I turned over to 'block' them with my upper arms. A few days later, something similar happens again, and I confide in my cousin (we're very close) and she says something similar also happened to her. So, for the rest of the holiday, we try to avoid any situations like that, and do for the most part. The next year, I go with my grandparents again but without my cousins, so we all share the caravan. I always go to bed earlier than them, and next is my grandfather. Again, he tries to go places where I don't want him to go, and no matter how many times I tell him I don't like it, he will do it again the next time. My grandmother is completely unaware of any of this the whole time, and I also refuse to go swimming at the beach by the campsite now too. Around March this year, my cousin told her mother, who then confronted our grandparents about it. Apparently he had no intention to make me feel that way and 'still believed we were kids'. In April we stay with them over Easter, and my grandfather comes to speak to me about it. He says that he didn't mean it in that way, but that he was 'tickling me', that I was the one who 'turned over, and things like that can accidentally happen' and that my grandmother did sternly talk to him about it, almost as if he's trying to shift the blame off of himself and victimise himself. I don't know if he had sexual intent or not, and it confuses me because I don't know what to believe. In all honesty, I've never really liked my grandfather, and I can't tell if he's telling the truth. I feel like I can't talk about it, even though I know that would help me move on and 'get over it', because I don't know if it really is sexual assault, and/or what to do about it. I also don't know whether to tell my counsellor about it, because I'm worried about what would happen if my mum finds out - I don't think she found out, and I don't know how she'd react to it. If people have read all this, and are willing to give any advice, I'd really appreciate it.