Hi all,
I just joined this forum yesterday, and it’s already been incredibly helpful. The situation that brought me here is a recent relationship with a sufferer who dumped me completely unexpectedly after what I considered to be a minor tiff. I’ve gone from six months ago being the love of his life, up until even a week or two ago, to being unceremoniously dumped via email, and he’s gone full no-contact on me.
I’m not sure whether I can expect to ever hear from him again, but this is extremely painful for me, as I have unresolved abandonment issues stemming from long-term parental rejection, childhood abuse and profound neglect. This was the thing that terrified me the most about getting into any kind of relationship for years, fear of rejection. I isolated myself for years because I have major trust issues. I know that we clashed a bit a couple of times before, and neither of us were on our best behavior. I’m at fault here too. But this was my worst nightmare, opening myself up to trust and love someone, just to get my ass handed to me.
I know exactly what folks on here will tell me ... give space, don’t pursue, let him go, he may or may not come back (seriously, he was pretty damn cold and clinical with that Dear Jane email), etc. I know I need to get help for myself, and I’m setting things up for that today. My self-esteem is so low right now I’d have to climb down a manhole to find what might be left of it.
Any suggestions for books that might help me get through the effed-up grieving process that’s in the cards for me? I had a severe major depressive episode beginning back in 2014, which I won’t go into right now, but it pretty much destroyed my life for a long time. I was just starting to pull my life back together again when my friend reached out to reconnect (we knew each other in high school, first boy I ever kissed, first sexual experience, etc.). I hadn’t seen him in over 30 years. It’s a great story, right? Long lost love and all that jazz. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
Anyway, just wanted to unload a little of this burden on my soul. I don’t get over stuff like this easily, and I needed to be much healthier and more stable before getting into this so fast and so deep. I was actually planning to move from PA to TX to live with him, make life plans. Within the next month! At least I dodged that bullet, right? Anyway, I’ll shut up now. Have a good day all.
I just joined this forum yesterday, and it’s already been incredibly helpful. The situation that brought me here is a recent relationship with a sufferer who dumped me completely unexpectedly after what I considered to be a minor tiff. I’ve gone from six months ago being the love of his life, up until even a week or two ago, to being unceremoniously dumped via email, and he’s gone full no-contact on me.
I’m not sure whether I can expect to ever hear from him again, but this is extremely painful for me, as I have unresolved abandonment issues stemming from long-term parental rejection, childhood abuse and profound neglect. This was the thing that terrified me the most about getting into any kind of relationship for years, fear of rejection. I isolated myself for years because I have major trust issues. I know that we clashed a bit a couple of times before, and neither of us were on our best behavior. I’m at fault here too. But this was my worst nightmare, opening myself up to trust and love someone, just to get my ass handed to me.
I know exactly what folks on here will tell me ... give space, don’t pursue, let him go, he may or may not come back (seriously, he was pretty damn cold and clinical with that Dear Jane email), etc. I know I need to get help for myself, and I’m setting things up for that today. My self-esteem is so low right now I’d have to climb down a manhole to find what might be left of it.
Any suggestions for books that might help me get through the effed-up grieving process that’s in the cards for me? I had a severe major depressive episode beginning back in 2014, which I won’t go into right now, but it pretty much destroyed my life for a long time. I was just starting to pull my life back together again when my friend reached out to reconnect (we knew each other in high school, first boy I ever kissed, first sexual experience, etc.). I hadn’t seen him in over 30 years. It’s a great story, right? Long lost love and all that jazz. I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut.
Anyway, just wanted to unload a little of this burden on my soul. I don’t get over stuff like this easily, and I needed to be much healthier and more stable before getting into this so fast and so deep. I was actually planning to move from PA to TX to live with him, make life plans. Within the next month! At least I dodged that bullet, right? Anyway, I’ll shut up now. Have a good day all.