anthony
Founder
The following actually contribute to both anxiety and depression, as these patterns we assimilate within our lifestyles often have a dual affect.
Black or White Thinking
Things are seen as extremes, for example, as either good or bad; there is no grey area. See yourself as a total failure if you or a situation falls short of perfect.
Question: Have I reduced some complex reality to an all or none or black and white alternative?
Mental Filter
Take a single negative detail and magnify and dwell on it excessively so that all other aspects of the situation are ignored, for example, if you received one criticism and 10 positive comments, you would ignore the positive feedback and obsess over the criticism.
Question: Have I blocked out my any positive aspects of this situation?
Discounting the Positives
Acknowledging the positives but insisting that they don’t count; for example, if you are told you did a good job, you say that it wasn’t good enough or that anyone could have done it.
Question: Am I rejecting the positive?
Overgeneralisation
Seeing a single event as evidence of an ongoing pattern (in particular, defeat), typically using words such as ‘never’ and ‘always’, and usually involves the generalising beyond the facts of the situation; for example, if you got turned down for a job once, you may say that you “never” get the job you want.
Question: Have I considered all the evidence or am I just looking at this event?
Jumping to Conclusions
Interpreting things, usually negatively, when you do not have all the facts; for example, mind reading; you think you know what others are thinking, or fortune telling; making predictions that things will turn out badly.
Question: Am I presuming what others think or feel? Am I predicting a negative outcome when I cannot be sure of that?
Catastrophising and Magnifying
Exaggerating the importance of the problem may consider everything a “disaster” or “tragedy.” Also think in “what if” terms and anticipating some disaster.
Question: Am I making this problem bigger than it really is? Or, am I interpreting an undesirable event as something that could happen to me?
Personalisation
Believing that everything people do or say is a reaction to you. Involves comparing yourself with others and holding yourself personally responsible for an event which you did not have total control over; for example, “It’s my fault.”
Question: Do people want to deliberately frustrate me? Is this about me?
Emotional Reasoning
Assuming that your emotions reflect the way things really are; for example, you take your feelings to be evidence; or if you feel stupid you must be stupid.
Question: Am I using my feelings as proof of how things are?
Should Statements
Setting rules and ideas about how things are expected to be and how you and others “should” behave! Use words like “must,” “ought,” and “have to.” Directed towards you, “should” leads to guilt; directed towards others, “should” leads to anger.
Question: Are my expectations and demands of myself and others dictating how I think?
Labelling
Attaching a label to yourself or others, usually negative, rather than describing the behaviour; for example, “I’m a loser,” instead of, “I made a mistake.”
Question: Am I summing up with the situation with a label or am I describing what happened?
Blaming
Holding others responsible for your distress or problems or blaming yourself for everything.
Question: Am I looking at a setback as my/someone else’s fault?
Fallacy of Change
Expecting others to change to suit you if you just exert enough pressure or cajole them enough.
Question: Am I asking others to be a certain way for my sake? Will I be happy if only this person changed?
Fallacy of Fairness
Feeling resentful because you think you know what is fair and others don’t agree with you.
Question: Am I expecting everyone to think like me?
Fallacy of Heaven’s Reward
Expecting all of your sacrifices and self-denial to pay off as if someone is keeping score. This leads to bitterness and disappointment when it isn’t returned.
Question: Do you think that you deserve to be rewarded for your actions?
Persistence and Hard Work
Black or White Thinking
Things are seen as extremes, for example, as either good or bad; there is no grey area. See yourself as a total failure if you or a situation falls short of perfect.
Question: Have I reduced some complex reality to an all or none or black and white alternative?
Mental Filter
Take a single negative detail and magnify and dwell on it excessively so that all other aspects of the situation are ignored, for example, if you received one criticism and 10 positive comments, you would ignore the positive feedback and obsess over the criticism.
Question: Have I blocked out my any positive aspects of this situation?
Discounting the Positives
Acknowledging the positives but insisting that they don’t count; for example, if you are told you did a good job, you say that it wasn’t good enough or that anyone could have done it.
Question: Am I rejecting the positive?
Overgeneralisation
Seeing a single event as evidence of an ongoing pattern (in particular, defeat), typically using words such as ‘never’ and ‘always’, and usually involves the generalising beyond the facts of the situation; for example, if you got turned down for a job once, you may say that you “never” get the job you want.
Question: Have I considered all the evidence or am I just looking at this event?
Jumping to Conclusions
Interpreting things, usually negatively, when you do not have all the facts; for example, mind reading; you think you know what others are thinking, or fortune telling; making predictions that things will turn out badly.
Question: Am I presuming what others think or feel? Am I predicting a negative outcome when I cannot be sure of that?
Catastrophising and Magnifying
Exaggerating the importance of the problem may consider everything a “disaster” or “tragedy.” Also think in “what if” terms and anticipating some disaster.
Question: Am I making this problem bigger than it really is? Or, am I interpreting an undesirable event as something that could happen to me?
Personalisation
Believing that everything people do or say is a reaction to you. Involves comparing yourself with others and holding yourself personally responsible for an event which you did not have total control over; for example, “It’s my fault.”
Question: Do people want to deliberately frustrate me? Is this about me?
Emotional Reasoning
Assuming that your emotions reflect the way things really are; for example, you take your feelings to be evidence; or if you feel stupid you must be stupid.
Question: Am I using my feelings as proof of how things are?
Should Statements
Setting rules and ideas about how things are expected to be and how you and others “should” behave! Use words like “must,” “ought,” and “have to.” Directed towards you, “should” leads to guilt; directed towards others, “should” leads to anger.
Question: Are my expectations and demands of myself and others dictating how I think?
Labelling
Attaching a label to yourself or others, usually negative, rather than describing the behaviour; for example, “I’m a loser,” instead of, “I made a mistake.”
Question: Am I summing up with the situation with a label or am I describing what happened?
Blaming
Holding others responsible for your distress or problems or blaming yourself for everything.
Question: Am I looking at a setback as my/someone else’s fault?
Fallacy of Change
Expecting others to change to suit you if you just exert enough pressure or cajole them enough.
Question: Am I asking others to be a certain way for my sake? Will I be happy if only this person changed?
Fallacy of Fairness
Feeling resentful because you think you know what is fair and others don’t agree with you.
Question: Am I expecting everyone to think like me?
Fallacy of Heaven’s Reward
Expecting all of your sacrifices and self-denial to pay off as if someone is keeping score. This leads to bitterness and disappointment when it isn’t returned.
Question: Do you think that you deserve to be rewarded for your actions?
Persistence and Hard Work
- Changing thoughts, feelings and behaviour requires persistence and effort.
- Don’t give up to soon.
- The road to emotional health is often two steps forward and one step backwards.
- There are no magical solutions or cures for PTSD or other conditions.
- The essence of change is a regular attack on irrational thoughts and feelings, drawing on all the techniques that you can learn to succeed.
- If at first you don’t succeed; try, try again.
- We only don’t succeed if we stop trying.