$ versus my life

Smile

MyPTSD Pro
Every time I have a medical issue I think to myself, I can’t afford this and it’s not really worth it since I won’t be alive for that much longer so what’s the point in Investing money into something that’s going to be gone soon?

For example: I have a lot of problems with my teeth. It’s not covered by insurance, costs a fortune and I have an incredible fear of dentists so I need to be put to sleep for any procedure. That takes so much energy and money…

What’s the point if I’ll be dead soon??

This is not a cry for help. Just wondering if anybody else has these thoughts? I feel very alone
 

arfie

MyPTSD Pro
i do. . . often and i thoroughly resent the routine medical practice of making me afraid of my age and mortality. in my case, the issue is more quality of life than money. waiting rooms and medical procedures are not my idea of quality living. inheriting 3 orphans at age 65 was a real game changer on how old i want to get. i will be 84 when the baby graduates from high school and i'm feeling far more motivated to get her there than i felt about rotting in a nursing home, but even there, i still have that quality of life issue. in terms of fun and laughter, pediatric care for three young children is all the medical sterility this old lover of the great outdoors can handle.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Oh wow...I could have written this! I'm so sorry you deal with this, too. I say these kind of things about medical care, but I also say them about doing just about anything. What's the point in finishing my (4th) degree; I'm going to be dead soon. What's the point in painting the condo; I'll be dead soon.

I do this about everything, and it isn't about being suicidal (because I'm not anymore). Are yours because you are sometimes suicidal, or are they more of a thing about death?
 

Smile

MyPTSD Pro
Are yours because you are sometimes suicidal, or are they more of a thing about death?
I guess more suicidal. But I’m not always actively having suicidal ideation… I just don’t see myself living/making it too much longer.
If that makes sense 😬
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
I guess more suicidal. But I’m not always actively having suicidal ideation… I just don’t see myself living/making it too much longer.
If that makes sense 😬
Yeah. I think it's really helpful to be able to distinguish between being suicidal - like actually wanting to die - and worrying/thinking about the whole dying/not being thing. I thought for a very long time my ruminations were because I was suicidal, and they weren't (even though I often was, suicidal, that is). They were more about the general ideas of death and dying - and I still struggle with them some, but I'm starting to work through them now.
 

ALexdeil444

New Here
ngl , I completely understand this idea and support it in the most positive way imaginable but I’m more of the type of person to say yolo when trying new things , I went sky diving when I was 15 and it was the scariest thing in my life but now looking back on it I’m happy that I did it . I , too , refuse any medical treatment because why waste money that I could be using to make my life more thrilling and worth living ... idk just sayin …😌💥✨
 

dug

Not Active
my wife says that a lot , but the fact is , I will miss her and our dogs will miss her , her daughter will miss her . Life sucks sometimes, trust me i know , i live with what they call ptsd and any number of other clinical terms , but i know i don't want to die , even on worst day i don't , I'm not afraid to die, but I'm not ready yet, hold the fort
 

Smile

MyPTSD Pro
ngl , I completely understand this idea and support it in the most positive way imaginable but I’m more of the type of person to say yolo when trying new things , I went sky diving when I was 15 and it was the scariest thing in my life but now looking back on it I’m happy that I did it . I , too , refuse any medical treatment because why waste money that I could be using to make my life more thrilling and worth living ... idk just sayin …😌💥✨
Yes!

I'm not afraid to die, but I'm not ready yet, hold the fort
This! Exactly
 
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