Hello, I’m new here. I’m 28 years old and here is a bit about how I landed myself into this forum.
I was sent to a trauma specialist after speaking with a psychiatrist about my sexual issues and severe disconnect from my body/emotions/life in general. She stated it was a form of PTSD around some sexual abuse. I’ve never recalled any of my sexual experiences to be abuse, just uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to connect myself with those experiences and do not remember everything (unless there is nothing else to remember.) i feel like an empty shell and cannot place myself in any situation. Just a life force inside a head, floating. I dislike sex, I don’t think I have ever really enjoyed it. It was just something I did to please others and gain closeness and acceptance, it was also something I could only do when I was drunk.
My bf and I of 7 years are unable to have sex because I cry and get panicky. I used to disconnect through it but after the psychiatrist told me about my disconnection problems stemming from sexual abuse. I would hyperventilate, feel overwhelmed and cry. I was diagnosed with social phobia and panic disorder in my late teens but know I had social anxiety since I was very young. I was very hyper aware of possible dangers till I started to dissociate after the panic attacks.
The experiences I had when I was a child do not seem extreme enough for my mind to dissociate or disconnect from my body so much. So I think it was something else. I was also in a few manipulative relationships as well as one of my bf’s got physically abusive after sex, but I had the panic attacks before that so it doesn’t quite match. My full blown panic attacks started after my drug abuse with ecstasy when I was 15. I guess I’m just jotting all this down in hopes to find someone with similar experiences. I have started somatic experiencing with my counselor in hopes to reconnect to my body. 3rd session was on Monday.
Again, I’m just looking to reach out to anybody who has some insight as of right now or similar experiences. Anybody to really talk to about it besides my counselor.
Thank you all! I look forward to reaching out.
I was sent to a trauma specialist after speaking with a psychiatrist about my sexual issues and severe disconnect from my body/emotions/life in general. She stated it was a form of PTSD around some sexual abuse. I’ve never recalled any of my sexual experiences to be abuse, just uncomfortable. It’s hard for me to connect myself with those experiences and do not remember everything (unless there is nothing else to remember.) i feel like an empty shell and cannot place myself in any situation. Just a life force inside a head, floating. I dislike sex, I don’t think I have ever really enjoyed it. It was just something I did to please others and gain closeness and acceptance, it was also something I could only do when I was drunk.
My bf and I of 7 years are unable to have sex because I cry and get panicky. I used to disconnect through it but after the psychiatrist told me about my disconnection problems stemming from sexual abuse. I would hyperventilate, feel overwhelmed and cry. I was diagnosed with social phobia and panic disorder in my late teens but know I had social anxiety since I was very young. I was very hyper aware of possible dangers till I started to dissociate after the panic attacks.
The experiences I had when I was a child do not seem extreme enough for my mind to dissociate or disconnect from my body so much. So I think it was something else. I was also in a few manipulative relationships as well as one of my bf’s got physically abusive after sex, but I had the panic attacks before that so it doesn’t quite match. My full blown panic attacks started after my drug abuse with ecstasy when I was 15. I guess I’m just jotting all this down in hopes to find someone with similar experiences. I have started somatic experiencing with my counselor in hopes to reconnect to my body. 3rd session was on Monday.
Again, I’m just looking to reach out to anybody who has some insight as of right now or similar experiences. Anybody to really talk to about it besides my counselor.
Thank you all! I look forward to reaching out.