Was hypervigilant for a week and now lots of people are p*ssed off.

I have suicide-related trauma. For the last year people have been making 'callouts' exposing a extremely popular user I know of. She's done a rather large collection of shitty things-as far as I can tell, nothing illegal-and has hurt people. For a year people have been on social media saying like don't interact with her, don't watch her content. Last week it escalated into things like they hate her, she's a bad person, she's a piece of shit, she's a dirtbag, her art's ugly, 'what the f*ck is wrong with her' for writing dark stories, nobody interact with her, if you interact with her they will block you, never let her come back without repercussions, and a 120 page document of every wrong thing she's ever done. It's escalated to the point where the other day I caught someone telling her fans to go die. I said that what this woman's done deserves criticism but that this has gone beyond criticism and has just turned into bullying.

I became convinced this would end in a suicide. And that I needed to stop it. By any means necessary. I told them to reign it in and that if they didn't stop the hate being thrown at her, it would be on them for not taking responsibility for what they do online if she can't handle it and kills herself.

They're now publicly saying I was 'suicide baiting' and guilttripping and 'halting accountability'. I'm out of the hypervigilance episode I was in all week and can now see all the ways this could pan out in which this woman doesn't kill herself, and feel ashamed of myself for overreacting. I sent them a message saying please take your post saying I was suicide-baiting you down because it is really affecting me to be publicly accused of manipulation for having a mental illness delusion.

I feel ashamed of myself. I don't know if I suicide-baited or not. I think what is happening to this woman is dangerous but I can't voice that anymore. It's been bringing back so much trauma and I've been melting down pretty much every day.
 
My advice is to get out of the drama cycle. Stay out of the places where the drama is. Don't interact with people who cause drama.

You have no way of knowing if these people you don't even really know will commit suicide or not. Just stay out of it. It is not your responsibility to look after people over the internet. It's not your job, don't make it one.

If you have suicide-related trauma, it might be wise to try to avoid triggering yourself in regards to suicide, so my strong advice to you is to find a more positive place to hang out. Like this one.
 
My advice is to get out of the drama cycle. Stay out of the places where the drama is. Don't interact with people who cause drama.

You have no way of knowing if these people you don't even really know will commit suicide or not. Just stay out of it. It is not your responsibility to look after people over the internet. It's not your job, don't make it one.

If you have suicide-related trauma, it might be wise to try to avoid triggering yourself in regards to suicide, so my strong advice to you is to find a more positive place to hang out. Like this one.
I've had to force myself to back away from it all.

I think what I struggle with is like, when someone kills themselves, everyone looks back and wonders what they could have done to prevent it. I wanted to do something in the moment. I kept thinking, nobody else is doing anything so I need to instead.
I get it into my head that I need to do whatever possible to stop my trauma from happening again, either to me or to someone else.

I hope this will be a good place. Thank you.
 

ruborcoraxxx

MyPTSD Pro
I’d be joining others for stepping back and avoid triggers. At the end, you don’t know these people, and if something was stirring up, the right thing to do is to report and leave. If yourself have a vulnerability towards the topic and get agitated and spiral, you will not be efficient in the matter neither. When I was in the middle of my DV relationship, I also became obsessed with it because it helped to canalise the anger somewhere, but truly what I needed to to in priority was to take care of MYSELF, and make sense of the knot I’ve been tied in. Not go there and see it everywhere in others. Perhaps in a year or two with more distance I’d do something about it in the sharing of my experience.

I kept thinking, nobody else is doing anything so I need to instead.
This you cannot know.

I get it into my head that I need to do whatever possible to stop my trauma from happening again, either to me or to someone else.
The truth is, people will continue and, sometimes, succeed. You can try to avoid retraumatizing yourself but you can’t stop everyone who triggered your alarm bells to do anything, as you can’t even know if they are at risk or not. We don’t have that much control over things. IMHO, I think acceptance and distraction would be good things for you. Unfold yourself and understanding why these things took this path, and stepping back. The hardest is to step back. It’s really f*cking hard. Traumabrain is gonna turn in rounds in your heads telling you have to frantically do whatever you need to prevent this and that, event when it makes absolutely no sense; it’s trying relentlessly to correct something that belongs to the past, and it has this combativity of doubling down in obsessions. It could be easier to replace an obsession by another behaviour than to try to remove it, so you have a transitional space. I hope this place doesn’t end up feeding your obsession too. I’d be a wee careful with it. Just my two cents.
 

Freida

Sponsor
I know from personal experience how hard it is to walk away from a situation like this because you want to help when you see people ignoring someone in trouble. But sometimes it comes down to putting our own oxygen masks on before helping someone else with theirs.

What I had to learn was that it was pretty much impossible to successfully help someone when I'm badly triggered because I' m seeing what is happening thru the lens of my ptsd, not their reality. And when I look at things thru that lens I see someone who is struggling and who is not getting the help they need and I think I have to save them..

That doesn't mean that it's true.
It means that's how I see it at that moment in time
And even if it is true there is little I can do when I'm triggered, because not only can I not think rationally about their situation, I don't know all the facts about what is really going on.

Now add the drama of social media and it just implodes in my brain.

Your desire to help is admirable and there will be a time in the future, when you have your own emotions and triggers under control, where you can be the person who makes the difference. But for right now? Trying to jump into something like this is like jumping out of a plane without a parachute.

You need the tools to help yourself before you can help someone else

Taking a break from social media until you are in a better place might be the best thing you can do right now
 
Took the advice and left social media. Actually feel a lot better mentally now I'm off of all of that stuff.

Now I'm out of...whatever hole I was in I can see I was being really irrational being convinced a suicide was going to occur. I've been focusing a lot more on real life recently and it's good to get off of social media. Thank you.
 
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