Childhood Was i abused as a child?

Iwanttoknow

New Here
I remember when i was about 5 until i was 7 my cousin who was a year younger than me would ask me to make out every time he came to our house. I would agree and do it and never initiate it but would expect it to happen. I think i enjoyed it. This included hugging and we mostly did it while "playing house" and "pretending to sleep" so it was in bed.
When I was 5 or 6 a classmate from kindergarten same age told me to come over to her house. In her room she told me to kiss her and we made out while lying in bed for a few hours. At first i said no but she insisted so i agreed. I felt guilty afterwards.
Sometime when i was 5 or so i started masturbating without knowing what it meant. When it became known to me that it wasn't right to do it i started doing it in private, always feeling shame afterwards. I continued until i learned what masturbation was and started doing it with my hands and not feeling shame.

What i want to know is if there's a possibility that these 2 things were considered abuse or that maybe i blocked some memories, considering i started masturbating so young. Mostly i want to know if a child can start masturbating so young without being exposed to abuse, or if it's tied to those experiences i mentioned.
Thank you for reading.
 

Sideways

Moderator
Mostly i want to know if a child can start masturbating so young without being exposed to abuse, or if it's tied to those experiences i mentioned.
Hopefully this will come as a huge relief to you: young kids, under 8 years old, masturbating on a regular basis is perfectly normal, commonplace, healthy behaviour. Little kids, just like big kids and adults, are most often doing it because it feels good.

We get folks come here on a regular basis questioning whether there is something sinister about their having started masturbating at such a young age. And tragically, a lot of people carry around immense amounts of shame because of it.

That shame isn't warranted. It's an incredibly normal thing for little kids to do.
 

Friday

Moderator
Mostly i want to know if a child can start masturbating so young without being exposed to abuse, or if it's tied to those experiences i mentioned.
Yep.

The vast majority of girls learn to masturbate as toddlers, usually during potty training, because clitoral stimulation temporarily shuts off the need to pee, and as a bonus? Also feels good. Boys also get that feel good, plus a floppy fun toy they can do all sorts of stuff with, even if -unlike girls- they can’t orgasm yet.

Most parents actively discourage their kids from having their hands in their pants (at least in public), many many many times a day, over the next several yeeeears.

5 is honestly a bit late to discover your bits feel good when you play with them, but it’s not unheard of. Especially not if it wasn’t when you actually discovered it, but simply when your linear memory really starts.

Hopefully this will come as a huge relief to you: young kids, under 8 years old, masturbating on a regular basis is perfectly normal, commonplace, healthy behaviour.

That shame isn't warranted. It's an incredibly normal thing for little kids to do.
Yep yep. @Iwanttoknow Exactly this.
 
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