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Was i assaulted?? vaginal medical procedure as child.

Discussion in 'Medical' started by Mak, Jan 29, 2018.

  1. Mak

    Mak Guest

    I guess I should explain. I had problems with my vagina when I was a child. My parents took me to a doctor with lead to me being held down at a surgeons table without pants or anything( keep in mind I was 7-8) they put a camera tube inside of me. I remember screaming about it hurting and crying. Am I a virgin? (this is important in my culture because no one will marry me if I'm not). How do I get rid of the nightmares and my fears? I'm a teen now and I still cry if someone tries to touch me in a sexual way. Please answer me or at least tell me how to get rid of the nightmares.
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  3. Fadeaway

    Fadeaway I'm a VIP Donated

    No, you weren't assaulted. Yes you are a virgin unless your genitals have come in physical contact with someone else's genitals. I can see how it could be distressing if you thought it made you not a virgin.They should have put you under for that procedure. I am sorry. There are medications that help with nightmares.
    littleoc, Friday, Zoogal and 2 others like this.
  4. Friday

    Friday Raise Hell Moderator

    Nope. Not assault.

    Medical procedures are often terrifying & extremely painful. It’s not assault, however, to set a broken bone. Nor to run a scope. Nor to pull a tooth. Nor to dig out a bullet. Nor to scrub away burned flesh. Nor to cut in and remove/repair organs. Some of these procedures are so painful people die from them without anesthetic or unconsciousness. Others they merely pass out. Pain and fear alone, though, is not assault.

    Same, medical procedures are often done naked. Because our clothes aren’t part of our bodies, which is what is being treated. Doctors need to see what they’re doing. The same way a mechanic lifts the hood of a car to work on the engine. Clothes are the first obstacle. Skin is the next.

    Yes. You’re still a virgin. Surgery isn’t sex. Procedures are not sex. The same way brushing your teeth isn’t kissing.
  5. Zoogal

    Zoogal I'm a VIP

    Any kind of procedure you don't understand as a child will scare you. It should have been explained what was going on and it doesn't sound like it was. Again no you weren't assaulted but you should have been talked to beforehand to somewhat understand what was going on.
  6. Renegade26

    Renegade26 New Member


    I had written a post on this a year ago, and I want to tell you that since then I have been in the process of learning more and more about what happened. I want to first validate your trauma. I am sorry that this happened to you. Everything you feel and have experienced is valid.

    The same thing happened to me when I was seven years old. My guess is that you underwent the procedure Voiding Cystorethrougram. This is a medically invasive procedure done with pediatric patients to determine what causes reoccurring UTIs. I had it 13 years ago and am still suffering PTSD from it. It took 11 years for me to get a diagnosis of PTSD, because lots of people do not believe the victim. There was a website created by patients called stopvcugtrauma, however, as of December it was suspended and taken down. You are the first person that I have met since then that is searching for it.

    It took me 13 years (up until last may) to find out what happened to me. It was a long long fight for validation of my experience, my thoughts and what happened.

    For nightmares, I have been prescribed Zoloft. It is originally a blood pressure medication, however, it has been known to reduce night terrors for people who experience them. It works very well for me. I also have listened to this podcast called Sleep with Me. It is a silly and boring podcast specifically designed to help you fall asleep. It doesn't always work for me, but it is nice to have a voice to listen to. Last thing is essential oils. I really like to put on lavender essential oils on my wrists and neck.

    Please reach out to me if you ever want to talk. Hang in there, you are so brave and it takes a lot to talk about this. I am a woman in my 20s.
  7. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    Hi, do you mean Prazosin?
  8. Anarchy

    Anarchy I'm a VIP

    Hello Mak,
    Welcome to the forum.

    I strongly disagree with several of the previous responses.

    If we take assault to mean non consensual contact that causes distress and or injury, then yes, I do think that you were assaulted.

    If we get into all sorts of weasel words about how it was somehow official, or because of position, entitlement or qualifications, it wasn't assault, I'll happily take up that argument is another thread.

    Are you still a virgin after that procedure? Yes very much so

    Contact with and injury to (and yes, I'm taking surgery as injury!) Children's genitals can and does cause the same psychological damage as when the same things are done by someone with sadistic or sexual motives. Possession of religious/medical initiation rites, and a sense of entitlement doesn't magically change that.

    The child on the receiving end isn't in a position to differentiate, and the "oh it can't possibly cause damage" and "you should be grateful, it was done to help you" is equally invalidating and gaslighting as the minimising of the experience of sex abuse victims.

    Now to your culture.
    First of all, I really hope that your parents offered you comfort and reassurance.

    I'm guessing that marriage within your culture is important to you.

    I'm not looking for any replies to the questions that follow, they're for you to be able to work out your own room for manoeuver
    do you get to choose? or are you expected to have a match made or an arranged marriage?
    If arranged or match made, How confident are you about getting someone who is understanding? Can you influence your family's choice?
    Would you consider marrying outside of your culture?

    Wishing you well
    (Male, kicking around the half century mark)
  9. Renegade26

    Renegade26 New Member

    Yes I meant Prazosin!! :)
  10. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

    So now it’s down to assault or neglect?

    I’m not saying the procedure didn’t affect the OP, but now you are saying that every medical procedure performed on a child is assault.

    Don’t go there. You are creating victims.

    Like....now vaccines are assaults? (No child wants a shot!)

    Your argument falls apart.

    No offense to the OP. It’s VERY possible to have adverse reactions to medical procedures. It’s just not assault.
    DharmaGirl likes this.
  11. Anarchy

    Anarchy I'm a VIP

    No, your straw man constructed in the vague resemblance of my argument, is what does the falling apart.

    How about you address what I had written, not what you have written and then attributed to me.
  12. shimmerz

    shimmerz My silence spoke a thousand words you never heard Premium Member

    As an infant I was operated on. I was not put out. I was given a paralyzing agent instead. I wonder if an adult would be treated the same way? I expect not.

    So here is the thing. Adults can make their own decisions about surgical procedures. Their choice. That makes a difference. Huge. Children, are not given the same option. So, yes, regardless of whether it is a medical procedure or not, to the victim of the procedure it is assaultive. Period. Doesn't matter what the intention is.

    One of these days medical professionals are going to take seriously the fact that children actually feel terror and confusion and dissorientation and pain (sometimes excruciating pain), and are literally held down by adults in order to 'take it' while they are fighting or struggling. The only reason a child would do that, from my pov is because they are fighting against a physical procedure that is terrifying them. If that isn't assault, I don't know what is.

    I am not certain why so many people don't understand what this type of thing does to children. I mean really? I was literally cut into (deeply) while paralyzed without pain meds. This child had a THING stuck up her vagina and probably not very gently if she was fighting. Doesn't matter why adults think the procedure is helpful. It is an assault against the body as far as the body is concerned so all systems that get engaged to start the trauma effect are in motion.

    Do people really need to go through themselves how helpless and terrifying and painful and invalidating these procedures are for children? I am not certain I understand how people can't logic out how victimizing this is and that things need to change to protect our children's psyches.
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2018
  13. EveHarrington

    EveHarrington _______ in progress. Premium Member

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