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Childhood Was this child on child sexual abuse?

imdoneone

Policy Enforcement
Thread starter #1
I'm a female. I was sexually abused by my older sister. She was 7-11 years old. I was 4-8 years old. We never had our father growing up as if he wasn't there for us that often because he had suffered from own past trauma. My sister touched inappropriately and I had to touch her. I asked her to stop, but she didn't listen. To this day, I hate myself for it. I just learned that she too was abused. I'm scared right now. I don't know what do anymore. I need answers about what she did to me. What should I do?
 
#2
I am no expert but I didn’t want you to wait too long to know someone was listening. I think what you experienced is kind of common. Your feelings seem understandable. I think the first step if you haven’t already would be talking it over with a trauma therapist. They can help you orient your thought process which might be jumbled in your attempt to understand everything. Although it might be hard to take that step for some, just know that I believe this is more common than you might think and they are not going to be shocked or anything and a trauma therapist will of course take it seriously and move at your speed etc.


Of course welcome to the forums. There is a lot of information here anyone will find useful. Just take a moment to breathe because the answers are out there. We just need a little faith and direction and some time.
 
#4
Hi @imdoneone , nice to meet you on here. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm sorry you are feeling scared now. You are in good company here, as there are many people who have similar experiences.

One of my abusers was a child. Not a sibling, though. Looking back now as an adult, I can see he must have been abused to do what he did to me. As children don't do this behaviour unless an adult has made them become sexual, and they then don't know boundaries or safe/unsafe behaviour. It makes me not be able to be angry at him, as he was a victim too. Which then makes me have nowhere to put anger, or feel anger, other than internalise it. I'm still working through all this....

Your title of the thread asks if it is child on child sexual abuse. But your post shows that you know it is. Are you wondering if it is or not? (A perfectly understandable question, as I think many CSA survivors doubt our memories and experiences).

Are you in therapy? I'm finding it really helpful.

What is it that makes you feel scared now? Is it linked to finding out your sister was abused?
 
#6
Nightmares are horrible.
And finding out that information is really triggering, for so many reasons.
It's no wonder things are difficult right now.
You're dealing with a lot of challenging things.

I do find therapy really helpful, to break these things down and figure everything out. Not easy, but helpful.

Might be worth trying therapy, if you're not already doing that?
 
#8
I don't know. It must be really hard for her?

One thing I have learnt, is that we can't make things better for other people.

It's ok to focus on yourself.

Is it your sister who told you what happened to her?
 
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