Watching over others Day & Night

Freida

MyPTSD Pro
yep
Totally get it.
One admit and suddenly everything changes. That's why I've avoided it at all costs. For me and them
So whats the options when you just.can't.do.it.anymore. Or when you are so sleep deprived you are hallucinating and you try to tough it out and risk screwing up someone else's life cause you can't think? Not many good ones.

Maybe looking at it from another direction would help. Keep the conversation on the sleep issue, don't let it cross into the suicidal because I'm sleep deprived conversation. Its just a really bad bout of insomnia that is causing you to lose track of where you are and what you are doing. No biggie, just looking for something short term.

You get the help you need, without having to deal with the 72 hour hold. It's a fine line, and a damn hard one to walk when you are loopy and frustrated. But you know the right answers to give.

Because I knooooow the consequence of calling for help. It’s sacrificing the next 80 years of someone else’s life. Because they’re having a hard time. For damn good reason
yep.
But. if it comes down to losing now, vs risking the future, which is the best option?
At some point, you know, that sleep dep impairs you to the point that ya gotta ask.
This! Been here. Done this. Got any battle buddies that can help?
now you’re solid and stellar. But you’re human, who else can help carry this so you can take a knee to reload for a min?
Yes. This. You aren't superwoman. Close maybe, but not. Let those in the loop help you.
 
B

Bonfire.

I was in a position to hire professionals. It was a no exception rule that anyone with a mental history was not to be hired. Among the given reasons: absence from work, increased cost of insurance, inability to work as a 'team' member, additional need for supervision. We could not even hire a person, with a near perfect resume, because he had grief counseling after the death of his son. Unfair? Absolutely. Real world? Definitely.
 

Friday

Moderator
That's potentially the core belief issue - is that advice you give to others?
The people I love, and who -or may- need clean background checks (complete with lie detectors & interviews & investigators), yes… most especially children/teens/young people.

People who already have an admit on their records, the elderly, those I DGAF about, and those who I’m neither willing or able to take responsibility for? No matter how much I may like, love, respect, or admire?No.

Ditto, (no) anyone who in an immediate threat to life situation… by another person. Crazy ain’t an excuse to hurt and kill people. Often explanatory, never exculpatory. Sometime is trying to kill you? Call the mothef*cking police, because they’ve just f*cked their own chances at avoiding them. By trying to kill you.

***

It’s a pretty well understood paradigm over here. Although it IS class-f*cked.

Private schools lay out what happens to you/your kids’ futures once it becomes a matter of public record (and the laws here are written to disallow medical & alcohol/drug treatment, but allow AND require both self disclosure/access to psychiatric inpatient records for admits & certain diagnoses... (PTSD being one of those required disclosures, for govvie jobs, but not private sector). Back to class-f*ckery… Private schools find other options for students in crisis (unaccredited facilities/retreats, with exceptionally accredited doctors, therapists, tutors, etc.); whilst public school counselors submit all of their “private & confidential” notes not only to the police but also to future schools, etc.). Similarly, Children’s hospitals do everything they can to avoid a psych admit, including spending 10x as much as they would on inpatient on outpatient care (3 nursing shifts at home, etc. which is not required to be reported by law) whilst McHospitals admit kids left/right/center. But? Children’s hospitals have endowments of hundreds of millions, even billions, so they can ‘scholarship’ that care out. McHospitals are required -by law- to at least place a 72hr hold to anyone they deem at risk. The outpatient care removes something like 90% of the “risk”, so exceptionally well funded hospitals achieve the same ends exceptionally well funded individuals do.

I'd like to understand better how it can ruin a person's life forever. I agree it makes some things much more difficult, but I know lots of people who have been hospitalized who have come to understand that it doesn't define them and they have not been held back because of it.
Both @Sideways & @whiteraven… I absolutely overstated. It’s an emotional thing, f*cking over someone’s future so severely, and so drastically limiting their options. But that’s not an excuse.

It’s not impossible. I’m overstating. Overfeeling.

Realistically? (In this country) It means never being able to work for any government agency or deptartment (outside of elected officials, who have different rules), or private institution… that requires a deep background check. Nor being able to work for any academic or scientific institution that has govt. contracts. Which is nearly all of them.

Entry level background checks at much lower levels also often disallow psych hospitalizations, but that is usually by self-disclosure, backed up by being fired for cause & blackballed in your industry if they every try to vet you further and it’s found out you lied.

So if a person can be happy working for themselves, never rising above entry level positions in anyone else’s employ, or doing the criminal thing? (All of which I’ve done, and been happy with!) Or marrying into money/never having to be employed themselves? Not all is lost. Not by a long shot. There are a thousand different ways to succeed, when no one of any import, or standing, will give you the time of day. It’s MUCH harder, on absolutely every level, though, to achieve any kind of self sufficiency, much less success. But it can be done. From both experience & observation.

I simply HATE consigning anyone else to the life as a fugitive. Especially a young person with the sky as the limit… otherwise.


If medical shit is still confidential? I sue the person who tries to make a deal out of it.
by law, in this country, your psych records are NOT confidential …for your employers, insurance, investigators, and a handful of others have near total legal access, although what’s usable IN court varies a great deal, the access -especially by employers- is huge. Therapy notes need a court order, unless you’ve been zooming/emailing/phoning, in which case the expectation of privacy is nill (although I suspect with Covid those laws MAY soon change) as you’ve granted permission for your sessions to be recorded & moderated by the companies you contract with (your phone, your oomputer, your email, your ISP, etc.). Megatech maaaaay well fight that? But, historically, only some companies do, whilst companies who hold the data rights to the exact same info don’t. Shrug. So it will be interesting, when that penny drops in the courts as to what happens. As it has yet to? If it’s on the internet or mobile network? It’s there. Forever. Every call, text, FaceTime, Zoom, profile post, etc.

Yes. This.
Let those in the loop help you.
<grin> I am. Just by venting/screaming at the sky/this thread… and all of you.

I haven’t replied individually, may later as things are touch and go here; but still? DEEPLY appreciate both your time, your thoughts, and words.

THANK YOU @jaccat @Sideways @Survivor3 @PlainJane @arfie @StillPen @Tinyflame @Warrior Chicken @whiteraven @Freida @Bonfire.
 

whiteraven

MyPTSD Pro
Realistically? (In this country) It means never being able to work for any government agency or deptartment (outside of elected officials, who have different rules), or private institution… that requires a deep background check. Nor being able to work for any academic or scientific institution that has govt. contracts. Which is nearly all of them.

Entry level background checks at much lower levels also often disallow psych hospitalizations, but that is usually by self-disclosure, backed up by being fired for cause & blackballed in your industry if they every try to vet you further and it’s found out you lie
Oh yeah. Absolutely.
 

Charbella

MyPTSD Pro
I guess we can be glad for HIPPA in the US. I have a 72 hour hold and as a teacher I’m required to have a background check but the 72 hour hold is my medical information so it’s protected. Not that I’m under any illusion that it can’t be found and it would probably keep me from other government jobs.
 

Tinyflame

MyPTSD Pro
JMHO but I think the thing about worrying about someone or trying to find a solution, for others or even one's self, is there is sometimes a tendency (at first) to see something in the light it will help, as in an all-encompassing relatively immediate complete solution (not to single out but new supporters thinking therapy will bring instant relief, for example). And it very well may, but there are many variables- quality of the help, a person's history and triggers, their personality and where they're at, how much is known. Or what becomes chasing a symptom but sometimes missing the root cause.

I think the real crux of excellent and life-changing help, is the difference between excellent credentials vs, or also, the experience to be able to recognize the nuances. Knowing when to speak or act or listen. The right help, or kind of help, at the right time. I also think trust is tantamount. You have the knowledge, the experience, and yes the trust. Makes it even more difficult in ways but you understand better than most ever could.

Help also comes in ways one might not expect. Reminds me of this thread:


Am pulling for you, still.
 
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Freida

MyPTSD Pro
guess we can be glad for HIPPA in the US
Ya..nope. we might have hippa but in the kind of backround checks she's talking about the investigation team WILL find out. Nothing is left private, they dig into all facets of your life. And if they find something you didnt self disclose? Then its considered lying by omission, and you fail anyway. They can require you to allow them access to your medical records, financial records, relationships, you name it.
Its the "if you don't agree don't apply" thinking.

When I went thru one of mine they actually interviewed my neighbors, which was uncomfortable because I had never even met my neighbors! But, the investigator said, just because I didn't know them didn't mean he wouldn't find stuff they knew about me just by living next door. So ya...time in a psych ward - even just a 72 hour hold? Probably a deal breaker unless there's a really good explanation
 

LuckiLee

MyPTSD Pro
J has CPTSD and works for the government. Passed all of his background checks and his employer knows of his diagnosis and disabilities. Granted, he works for a non-profit but they are all government positions.

Is this your son you're talking about?

Try to get some rest.
 
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