weird or overreaction?


I see my T twice a week. So few weeks ago, I booked two appts very close to T time and booked them off. My T canceled the last session before taking those two days off on the same day.
No biggie. Never thought about it.
Then came the week after when we supposed to meet. No show or more like a call. I am thinking at this point for sure something came up or maybe she is sick since she cancelled last time and I did not see two times over then.

but then I wonder, she may send me email to say sorry no show or some other courtesy. None came. So Saturday, I felt maybe it is very serious and sent her email (I hardly ever do this or never) and said I hope you are well and see you next scheduled session.
She responded and said some thing about conference (The conference advertisement came quickly , so I had to cancel quickly .) and see you on Thursday. None why no show/call or even courtesy email.

I did not respond cause there was no reason but I am struck in a weird way. Maybe my trauma side is gearing my thoughts but I really felt like this is sort of instigator to get me react (working already but may probably smooth over sooner than later). Also my next session should be today - Tuesday but she did not mention it and said Thursday. So I am under the impression she really meant Thursday but being so weird I feel like more is going on.

Hello paranoia like feeling. How you been?

Just wondering any sense from other humans. Has a T never just no show and no mention or is this a first?
edit - just wanna mention I also see clients and forgot sometime but gosh I do follow up with oops email not let them hang and dry...this is my practice.

Thank you


Sorry this has happened.

It sounds like you are trying to read her mind because this has hurt you, and if you are anything like me, of someone has hurt you the safest thing in the past was to try and read their mind and solve it on my own.
But this isn't the past.
And you can email her to say, "do you mean today?" And also"we had an appointment last week that you missed, and I was wondering if I could have an explanation about that?".


Thanks movingforward10 for your thoughtful response.

Am I hurt? I feel more annoyed and ignored.

I was truly wondering if this has happened to others. I do not want to wonder and ask for explanation in email. I will definitely ask when we meet what happened.


I feel though two minds: one is my normal everyday reaction to any professional phone call that got missed and move on and my reactive side is like a courtesy email would have helped. I would be frustrated if I was going to her office and she did not show up nor call or email specially knowing she was just fine!


Canceling happens but she should have given you notice. That's pretty cruddy. I would be annoyed if anyone did that. If my therapist did it, I'd be annoyed and triggered. It's only happened to me once and it was a mistake on her end and she was super apologetic. It took processing and time for it to work out. Easy to mind read underlying reasons for why it happened but you don't know and that's a trap. I'm sorry that happened to you.


Maybe revisit your contract with her from the start of therapy and re establish some boundaries around what you expect from her in terms of cancellations and appointments. From what you've said you need to talk about what her behaviour has brought up for you, and if she is defensive or dismissive you can then decide whether she is the best therapist for you.


my t has some health issues so she's been cancelling on me at the last minute for several months now. Sometimes she texts me, sometimes the office calls.

At first I wondered the same thing--WTF? Is she trying to get me to quit or is she just totally professional?

So I made myself bring it up and we had a long conversation about it. Now we have a plan in place.

I think there are a couple red flags about your T being disorganization, and as the person paying her for her time she needs to get her shit together. But I don't think it's about you. She just sounds like a mess right now - and she may not have any idea how it is affecting you

Plus is practice in conflict resolution! 😁


Tell her and see how she is. I would yell at her and I’ve done that countless times to my therapist.

The reason is her responsibility is greater in your relationship than almost any other I can think of and way beyond professional courtesy I’m my opinion.

She’s supposed to know you’ll get paranoid and hurt and upset and feel maybe abandoned. That’s her job. So tell her and that’s giving her a chance . I’d even be mad I had to say it. Along with everything else I have to worry about the therapists behavior too? Lol.

I hope you say something and I hope she straightens out for you.


I feel like best is to ask, maybe there was a miscommunication and she was away this week or something like that and somehow you didn’t get on the same page. If she really just didn’t show up and didn’t say anything about it that would be a red flag for me. But it might be a complete misunderstanding so best to ask?


Interesting development.
The T thought she canceled all her clients on Thursday and Friday!

I have to say if my client emailed me wondering hmm what happened, the first place I would look is my sent box to see what I said in my email to cancel the session.
She did not seem too concerned. Either she is giving me credit for "good behaviours?" baloney!
or she was sheepish and embarrassed and now has few other clients on Friday waiting on her about what happened.

Aint life funny?