No. I'm broke. No insurance, and live in a small rural town. I can't even drive anywhere. I had a car for a couple of months in high school, but I would get so freaked out that I would kind of blank out. So I never got my license. Makes it hard to do anything even if 8 wanted to.I don't know if this helps or not:
I feel guilty too. My T says that's because I'm not used to expressing my feelings or needs. I wasn't allowed to express them as a child (it resulted in ridicule, or being ignored or dismissed) , so when I do express myself now there is this confusion and this guilt. Because it is new and feels like I have burdened someone else.
But you are allowed to express yourself.
Are you in therapy?
Thank youThat is hard.
I suppose that's where things like this forum might really help? You're not alone and the feelings you have, are shared here. Lots of people will have been through similar things and can relate. Whilst that doesn't stop the feelings, it can help to feel less alone.
There are some great books and things to read too, if that would help?
So what did your body do/want to do, whilst in rage. One of the things I have found about rage was that there were so many things in my past that screamed internally that rage was NOT allowed or dire consequences would follow.but went straight to rage.
I usually just breathe and avoid whatever angers me, but sometimes it catches me off guard. I was told I haven't killed myself because deep down I want to live, and it set me off bad. They don't know what's in my head. Also when people twist my words. It's hard enough for me to get thoughts across.So what did your body do/want to do, whilst in rage. One of the things I have found about rage was that there were so many things in my past that screamed internally that rage was NOT allowed or dire consequences would follow.
Do you have a plan as to how to express that rage when you feel safe enough to express it again? Oh -- and it may be worthwhile to think back to what it was that triggered up that response,. Pete Walker has some good insight into freeze/fight stuff. That may be worth looking at as well.