Went Out At Night To Place Where Attack Happened
- Post starter bluebeard
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How did that feel?
When I lived in my hometown, where I was sexually assaulted by a person just passing through who decided he'd sell his drugs in MY town...I kept running into him...literally, nearly every week, he would just cross my path in the city. My boyfriend at the time didn't really understand, and he kept convincing me to stay a while longer, because he wanted to marry me, so he could get settled in his career...but he didn't realise how freakin' hard it was to just BE in my town, knowing that, at any time, this guy could, and DID, just walk past me.
I was forced to walk past places where he frequented, and friends would drive right past where it actually happened (which was in the carpark of the Australian Defense Force, ironically) totally oblivious to what it represented to me. It was a nightmare, and I felt like I couldn't escape, until one day I got fed up with being scared in my own town.
I went past the local bar where he and his friends used to hang ou, and I walked past and stopped, and decided there and then to walk in and confront his friends with what their frined had done to me.
I walked in, and sat down next to one guy, who poured me a beer. Then, the guy who assaulted me walked in and he came and sat down near me, and it was all I could do to not smash my glass in his face, which was the impulse I had.
I told his friends what he did to me. None of them did anything of course...but one guy did applaud me for 'showing my strength'.
After that I wasn't scared anymore...but everytime I saw the guy who did that to me, I noticed that his pace quickened and he seemed to shrink in fear around me...which was interesting. I guess the fact that I told my brother what he did, and he had his army out looking for him, probably had some part to play in his fearful response...but I like to think it's because I took back the power and decided he was on MY turf, and he's the one who should be scared...not me.
When I lived in my hometown, where I was sexually assaulted by a person just passing through who decided he'd sell his drugs in MY town...I kept running into him...literally, nearly every week, he would just cross my path in the city. My boyfriend at the time didn't really understand, and he kept convincing me to stay a while longer, because he wanted to marry me, so he could get settled in his career...but he didn't realise how freakin' hard it was to just BE in my town, knowing that, at any time, this guy could, and DID, just walk past me.
I was forced to walk past places where he frequented, and friends would drive right past where it actually happened (which was in the carpark of the Australian Defense Force, ironically) totally oblivious to what it represented to me. It was a nightmare, and I felt like I couldn't escape, until one day I got fed up with being scared in my own town.
I went past the local bar where he and his friends used to hang ou, and I walked past and stopped, and decided there and then to walk in and confront his friends with what their frined had done to me.
I walked in, and sat down next to one guy, who poured me a beer. Then, the guy who assaulted me walked in and he came and sat down near me, and it was all I could do to not smash my glass in his face, which was the impulse I had.
I told his friends what he did to me. None of them did anything of course...but one guy did applaud me for 'showing my strength'.
After that I wasn't scared anymore...but everytime I saw the guy who did that to me, I noticed that his pace quickened and he seemed to shrink in fear around me...which was interesting. I guess the fact that I told my brother what he did, and he had his army out looking for him, probably had some part to play in his fearful response...but I like to think it's because I took back the power and decided he was on MY turf, and he's the one who should be scared...not me.
- Post starter
- #3
Thankyou. I didn't mean to reign on the OP's parade, I just thought I'd share my own experience of going back to the place where it all happened.
KP the nut
VIP Member
Well done Bluebeard, my saying is feel the fear and do it anyway. I can't do it all the time but when I do something I know it helps me to recover.
BUT, don't go too fast, and don't be hard on yourself it you can't go through with something. Slow and steady and rreward yourself when you achieve something, large or small
Take care
KP
BUT, don't go too fast, and don't be hard on yourself it you can't go through with something. Slow and steady and rreward yourself when you achieve something, large or small
Take care
KP
- Post starter
- #7
Just felt I had to get out there , I was becoming housebound
- Post starter
- #8
Thank You XX
KP the nut
VIP Member
You're welcome, the great thing with this site is that we are not alone:)
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- #10
Heather
Diamond Member
I think you are so brave! When my brother-in-law sexually assaulted me I did the same thing a few days after my daughter was only 3 at the time and she had fallen asleep in the car. I went over to his house and I left her in the car and I barged right in and confronted him! I had to do it for MYSELF, to take my power back and at first he denied it and then he admitted it. What a f&$king tool!!!!!! I hate him so much. He was a total asshole the entire time but at least I did it. so bravo....Heather
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